uncertain of it all

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by twistedandbatteredwithin, Nov 5, 2007.

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  1. i love this girl and want to be with her, but that isn't possible due to circumstances beyond my control. we get along great, we have fun while we are together, and even when we are apart. not being able to be with her is very depressing and hurts because i love her so. i know we will never be able to be together due to circumstances.

    i recently met a lady and we have been spending a lot of time together. we get along great, talk about everything, and enjoy the company we share. just within the past day or so i have come to realize that i really like this girl and want to spend time with her. she doesn't know that i like her, and i'm not sure i want to tell her for a few reasons.

    the main reason i don't want to say anything is because i do not want to ruin the friendship that we have.
    second: she knows i had and still have feelings for this other girl.
    and last: if i did decide to get involved with this lady , how wouldit make her feel, knowing that i am on the rebound, so to speak.

    if i can get some advice from folks here as i have nobody i can talk to face to face about anything.

    i suffer from severe depression, and want to die. but i want to stay to be with this lady.
    if i can get some advice from some ppl that may have some insight as to what i could, or should do. thank you for your time in reading this. i'm new to forums, and not sure where i was supposed to post this. i apologize if this is in the wrong section.
     
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I'm really sorry you are stuck in such a situation. I think you need to follow your heart and do what you feel is right. Either way friendship or more, you need to figure it out and do what you feel is right. I am rambling...but yeah
     
  3. Darkness N Light

    Darkness N Light Staff Alumni

    Twisted,
    Hello and I am sorry that you are in such a tough spot. I would say that you have to do what makes you feel right. It is very possible to love one person and feel something else for someone else. I would say be honest with her. Tell her how you feel and let her decide what is to be done. You shouldn't take that choice away from someone. If you like her a lot then technically it isn't on the rebound I don't think. It helps that you like her and you can see where it goes from there. Every relationship starts out at friendship. I am here if you ever need to talk.
     
  4. hmm, this is a tough one. I think the best thing to do is to ask yourself if you're even ready to start a relationship with someone else. You say you are still in love with this first girl so I think it would be unfair for this new girl to have to be your second best, if that's the case. Since she knows how you feel about this first girl, you risk her feeling like maybe you are using her for a rebound. She may also be afraid to start anything serious with you because she knows you still love this other girl and at any moment, when the circumstances do come under your control, you may ditch her. I think if you really want to pursue something with this new girl, don't waste anymore of your time together talking about the old girl. You have to make her feel safe, like she's the one you're interested in now and that the past is the past. then you can begin to tell her how you feel about her and perhaps start something good.
    I'm not sure what circumstances are keeping you from the girl you love, but I'm wondering now if she knows you love her?? I think the fair thing to do would be to be honest with yourself first then heartache can be avoided.
     
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