I hate starting a post about me. It makes me so anxious, so uncomfortable. But I need to write somewhere other than my diary. I'm posting here because I'm not in crisis just uncertain. These past few weeks I have really been struggling. Trying to keep that mask in place is becoming increasingly difficult. I get so frustrated with myself, I've tried my hardest to get over this depression & these suicidal feelings but the relief is only ever short lived. This time last year I hit rock bottom & I can feel myself sliding to how I was then. I can't go back to being like that again. I'd rather end it now. I am stuck & the only way out for me is suicide. I had so many things I wanted to write here but I'm struggling to get the words out now, like I've hit a mental block :argh:. I'm so stupid sometimes, it's taken ages to write just a few lines, but opening up is something I'm really not good at. Anyways, thanks for reading, no replies needed but hugs are welcome...I could do with them :blub:.