Uncertainty is as good as gets right now.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by yelapa, Jan 11, 2010.

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  1. yelapa

    yelapa Member

    I have been treated for anxiety and depression for years. From time to time it has gotten so bad that I have seriously considered dying by my own hand. I finally discussed it with my wife a couple of years ago. She has fibromyalgia, "primary" rheumatoid arthritis, and a smashed disk in her lower back, resulting in her taking a bewildering regime of medications and keeping her bedridden for days at a time. Surprisingly, I discovered that she had been considering the same thing and had been afraid to bring it up. Since then, suicide has been a open topic, but not a constant topic or a cloud hanging over our heads.

    We are both in our late fifties, reasonably successful in our past careers, and capable of making To Do lists and making financial scenarios. We have no kids and no close relatives, but do have three cats which we love. We are together forever. Barring a miracle, we have already lived the best, most active years of our lives.

    This year, we resolved that we must reduce our economic burden--a large house, simplify our financial records, make a will and reduce the sheer volume of “stuff” we own. We don’t see this recession getting any better. Despite news stories hinting at an upturn, no upturn is apparent where we live, shop, and drive. Our friends are more freaked out than ever at their precarious financial and job status. My working theory now is: Okay, if you think things are getting better here is a great deal on this painting, this antique, this beautiful dining set, this house… Enjoy. I’ll take the cash.

    Having resolved to do all this, we cleared our refrigerator door of all the pictures, magnets, etc. and put up an 8 ½ by 11 To Do list that when completed, will result in our house being ready for sale, our affairs in order and our (dwindling) estate passed on as we wish.

    If you have read this far, then you may be thinking that this sure looks like a couple preparing for the final exit. Maybe. Maybe not. One thing is sure. Our house and our affairs are a mess and need sorting. We have lacked the energy and gumption to keep things up. As of today, if someone were to come into our house it would be clear that something was not right here.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Well I'm glad that you have decided together to take this on. And who knows, maybe by decluttering the material things in your lives it will help to declutter some of the emotional things as well. It will be a huge job that you will be working on together to achieve the end result. And it might help to bring your health and mental health issues some closure as well. Good luck and let us know how it's going.
  3. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    Hmmmmm that sounds just like my house and my life...................
    Similar feelings too

  4. yelapa

    yelapa Member

    The hardest things to deal with are things that used to have value but are no longer worth anything more than a few dollars. It requires a lot of resolve to toss or recycle something that still works, originally cost hundreds of dollars but is now a relic. Yes, you could some small pittance for it on craigslist or eBay, but it just feels better to be shut of all this crap at this juncture. We have dozens of items like that and agonizing over each one is, well, agony itself!
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