Uncertainty

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Unknown.7, Mar 25, 2016.

  1. Unknown.7

    Unknown.7 Member

    I have an ex who I really loved a lot but when we broke up, he used my depression and anxiety and eating disorders as weapons against me. I really still love him and I see him all the time. I'm considering reaching out to him, even if he does still have feelings for me, he triggers my sensitivity by using my disorders against me. Im not sure what to do?
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    The simple qualifier to even friend-
    1. Do you feel better after spending time with them?
    2. Is your life better when they are more involved in it?
    3. Do you feel happiness when you think of them or fear and apprehension?

    If any of those are a negatives then you are better off keeping distance in my opinion. Even on those questions - is it because it is "them" or because it is "somebody" for the first two questions. I would be exceptionally cautious about anybody that had intentionally hurt you before.
     
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    You know what to do. You know this person is bad for you and that reaching out to him would be self destructive and damaging. By focussing on this person still you are stopping yourself from really getting better and finding a relationship that would be good for you.
     
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    If I was in your shoes I'd try to stay away from him. He sounds very manipulative, no truly good person would use another persons weaknesses against them. I am sorry that happened to you; but I think you're a lot better off moving on and trying to find someone who truly deserves you.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    As @NYJmpMaster said keep your distance, he is no good for you. He sounds like my ex, he used everything against me used and abused. You do not have to have a bruise to be abused. I hope you keep your distance and you will meet someone a whole lot better. You have a heart, he doesn't. There's millions of people out there who would treat you like a princess! Please stay clear of him :)
     
  6. Unknown.7

    Unknown.7 Member

    thanks guys for all the support and advice