Uncomfortable in my own skin

[nobodyknows71]

Up until Feb this year (yeah it's still 2016 where I am) I was never overly concerned with my body image. I didn't love myself and wanted to lose a bit of weight but it wasn't a big thing for me.
I had the usual teenage (a long time ago) dramas of bad skin and confidence issues but it was never enough to hold me back.
But this year my body has changed a lot due to several surgeries, chemo that made me bald and then radiotherapy burnt my skin.
Other than the surgical scars the rest was temporary. My hair is growing back and my burns have healed.

But I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin.

I don't feel like me anymore.

There are some permanent side effects from the surgeries, and I'm finding it hard to come to terms with those. And it's making me very irritable. I'm having physio to help with these but it doesn't seem to be helping much.

I just can't see a time when I feel like me again.

 

[Walker]

Hey there, I don't venture into this area but I came in tonight and see this is left with no replies so I thought I'd say hi.
You know, not feeling right in your own skin is something I can jive with for sure. I'm trans so I've been out of whack with my shit for as long as I can remember. But yeah, I get ya. I think all you can do is slowly come to process that this is the new you and that this "new you" is still the same bad ass person on the inside. If you don't care about the outside much then neither will others (in regards to scars or hair loss). Least that's how I've seen it come together. The more I would stress about looking a certain way or not passing or having this show or having a lump here or not wearing something this day blah blah blah... it's all maddening! When you're cool with you then others are too. No one really gives 2 shits about your skin or hair or scars but you. You're paying WAY more attention than they are and you're focused on it when they don't even realize it's there maybe. So lighten up, relax and just be you. You got this.

 

[nobodyknows71]

Hi @avalanchefan95 I'd forgotten I'd posted this!!
Thanks for taking the time to reply.

It's not about what the other think. I have never given a flying fig about how others perceive me. When I had no hair I didn't cover up. No wigs no scarfs nothing. People stared and my partner noticed way more than I ever did. He didn't care either.

It's about me feeling like me.

It's taking time to get used to the 'new me'. I've been very lucky health wise until, f**k it's coming up to a year, last January. I'd spent *cough 45 years feeling like me. That's a long time. So to feel uncomfortable was/is new to me.

But it's ok. I'm a work in progress.

Take care

Love and hugs x