I feel I have lost myself somewhere along the way. The medications and hospitalisations have taken their toll from me. This recent escapade has left me drugged into numbness. It also has been the longest stay in a psychiatric ward I have ever experienced. I don't think it fixed anything just numbed it out. I feel displaced from my own thoughts and my own life. Distant from it all in a cold way. But strangely I can sense seething emotion buried beneath the drug haze. I am no longer myself I just about barely function, passion is what is missing and that is everything.