Uncovering causes of alters... Any suggestions, books etc?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by feathers, Apr 19, 2012.

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  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Okay I have known about my alters for nearly a year now and still no one has any concious memories of anything that may have caused the psyche split. And I am getting so impatient, I'm sick of wondering, did this person hurt me? Being scared to visit family members in case it was them, just everything, I need to know what happened and I can't remember no matter what I do.

    Is there any advice anyone has, books, anything? That can help me with this? I'm going crazy from it.

    Also, how good are therapists at finding repressed memories? How do they do it? I can't help but fear when I finally get into therapy, my therapist will be useless, like every psych I've ever visited.

    Kaz x
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 19, 2012
  2. whoamiboo

    whoamiboo Active Member


    I don't know if you should be happy or sad that you can not remember what happened to you. I know from my experience that my therapist was the best thing that ever happened to me. I could not for the longest time find the "right" one. I for a long time went to a male therapist that was just not cutting it for me. Then I found this wicked cool therapist that has been my life saver. She has helped me figure out what happened to me a long time ago. I to did not know what quite happened to me but I do now. Not still sure if it was what I wanted to know in my therapy sessions but through long hard work I am at ease with my life. I now have more thoughts then I ever did. But this took over 4 years for me to discover the truth. If you are interested in seeking therapy, it can help if you are ready. But you must be ready for ALL situations. They can help you find answers that you have been looking for if you find the "right" therapist.

    I see you are in England, you must have good therapist there. Just finding him/her is the greatest challenge. I wish you much luck. Like I said from my experience it has helped me live through my greatest pains.

    Take care,
  3. mira

    mira Member

  4. Jeserai

    Jeserai Well-Known Member

    If you created alters to not know anything about what happened in the past, it did not happen for nothing. I know how frustrating it can be to not knowing what happened but know that something happened. But it's a defendingmechanism to protect you, the person that has to do life.
    Try to search for a psychotherapist with speciality in dissociative disorders.
    A good book is: coping with trauma-related dissociation by Suzette Boon and Kathy Steele.
    What can help to get some communication between your alters is to take a notebook and write to the others. Ask them to write back, invite them to communicate. Maybe they will not answer immediate, but it takes some time.
  5. red ribbons

    red ribbons Well-Known Member

    Feathers, you have to find a therapist who specializes in disassociation. It can take years and years of therapy to start bringing alters out so you really have to have a trusting relationship between the two of you. You have to feel the therapist loves you like the love you didn't receive when you were being abused. It's called attachment therapy. One day out of the blue, something will trigger an alter to appear and if you have a good therapist who does not put judgements on you and you feel safe with that therapist, you can become fully integrated into a whole person and just see your alters as parts of your personality and why you had to split off in the first place and continued to do it. You will learn to recognize signs of when you are being triggered and eventually the alters are nothing but paper dragons and are no longer useful in your life now. It is a very long journey but at the end you will find peace when you are fully integrated.
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