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Under a shadow

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by CharlieTrucker, Mar 18, 2013.

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  1. CharlieTrucker

    CharlieTrucker New Member

    Hey guys, I'm Charlie. Not good at intros but I'll do my best. I'm 31, a former Marine (Iraq vet), and current truck driver. Most of my adult life I have tried to be a good, positive person. I give to the homeless when I see them on the streets and am always willing to give a hand, advise or just a shoulder to lean on. I was recently fired from my job hauling freight for Walmart, due to a weather related accident. Noone hurt, nothing severe, just a diesel leak. I even still made my delivery. So, I went from making over $600/wk to nothing. I've always been raised to know that being a man means to provide, to be stable to be a.... MAN. I'm having severe trouble dealing w/ this personal failure. I can no longer provide and be the proper man/ father that I should be and it is DESTROYING me. My lady and I argue constantly now, tho I can't blame her. Everything is on her shoulders now. I feel like such a burden and so worthless. I just can't seem to get ahead. Before I landed that spectacular job, I was unemployed, that time from work as a lab technician. It seems that my life is a constant tug-of-war between failure and, at best, mediocrity. Case in point, after my separation from the Corps in 2005, I ended up addicted and homeless in California for 8 mths. With the help of my mother, I pulled my ass outta that mire and strove forward. Went to college, but no one will hire someone fresh out of school it seems. I just am at my wits' end. Everytime I stand up and begin to climb, life comes along and kicks me square in the ass. I was contemplating suicide quite strongly this morning, after another argument w/ my woman left me feeling less than crap. I began scouring the web for methods, success rates, etc and stumbled upon and subsequently this site. Both have helped me considerably and I wish it'd been around during my homeless days. It might've saved me numerous unsuccessful and painful attempts. It swells my heart some to know that I'm not the only one and that I'm not alone. Just knowing that there is somewhere that I can go, people I can talk to w/out being judged, makes my burden seem just a tiny bit smaller. I know this is a wall o' text, and for that I apologize. I can be a bit verbose at times. Just wanted to be known. So... hello all.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2015
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    WE don't mind the wall of text hun you can post however you want. I am sorry walmart did that to you a vet god man I think they would have stood by you more. Not good on their part at all. I am glad hun you are talking here reaching out for support Just know you landed that job so you can land another trucking job perhaps you have all the licences please know that we are here anytime you just need to vent ok or to be heard hugs
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Hi Charlie and a big and warm welcome!! Sorry things sort of in the crapper again for you now.. Hope some possibility for a good job shows up soon.. Charlie, lots of other ppl here that cruising near the bottom.. Also some that it is some better for now..

    Is ok to be you and try to let it out here.. Some rules here on what can say here but is still possible to just say it all..

    Chat rooms with adding java language at java.com to your outer gets busy often.. Lots of forums covering just about everything also.. Hope to hear from you some Noreen..tC, Jim
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Hi Charlie, I 'm quite new and it is a lovely feeling not to be the only one. I went to centre today to discuss therapy. I start next week. Before I found this site I'd never have thought it worth trying. It may not work out but it's the first positive thing I've done for so long that trying is an achievement. I'm twice your age so if I can do it you can. The job situation is terrible everywhere. It is so difficult for you all.
  5. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    hey there
    welcome to the forum. We really don't mind the wall of text and really it helps to know a bit better.
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