Under control now.... but scared about the future

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TaraJo, Aug 19, 2009.

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  1. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    So, after the most recent episode I had, when I got out of the crisis center in Tulsa, I have a new diagnosis: Borderline Personality Disorder. Honestly, after that diagnosis, I asked for some info on it and was kinda surprised how much of it fits me like a glove.

    Now, I'm willing to bet there are a few other people here with the same condition and they can probably relate with what I'm going to say. Right now, I'm fine and I'm pretty sure I can get my life together. However, one of the symptoms of BPD is sudden, intense mood swings. And that scares me. Right now I know everything will turn out okay, eventually, but tomorrow or the day after.... what if I have one of those mood swings?

    I'm honestly scared that a suicidal urge may take me in a moment of weakness. It's nearly happened a few times already.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My daughter has these mood swings and with therapy she is learning to deal with them. She is also on meds to help deal with the mood swings as well You will do okay just keep going to your therapist and see you doctor about meds to help with the mood swings With the proper treatment try to get a therapist that deals with BPD your future will be not so scarey take care.
  3. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    I want to do just that, but I have no money or insurance so finding a doctor and/or therapist is kinda tough.

    I'm out of meds.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Check with your hospital and find out if there are any programs for people who don't have insurance and little money.. I go thru a place called ACT to see my shrink and to get my meds..I just pay a small copay and they cover everything else.. Some of the drug companies will work with you if you can't afford to pay for your meds.. Just something for you to check in about..
  5. versin

    versin Member

    My best suggestion for you is that you seek treatment with the same psychologist/psychiatrist (don't just seek a psychiatrist for medication). Talk to him or her whenever you can and don't be afraid to ask about cost. Stick to one person that you feel comfortable talking to and keep that dialogue going even though there may be times when you feel down and don't feel up to it. Open up to people you trust and support you and they may be able to help you with finding out information on how to get insurance and such. Try not to stress so much about it. I am also going through problems with income and after being able to openly talk about my diagnosis to friends that I trust, their generosity and willingness to help has been tremendous.
  6. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    please keep posting your thoughts here. don't do anything to harm yourself even if they say that's one of the symptoms.
  7. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    Yeah, right now, I don't have ANY doctor.... which is what makes this really tough for me. I have no money and no insurance, either, which makes it worse. The only meds I DO take are prescribed by an MD and I don't need a another appointment for another couple of months.

    I have a friend who also has BPD and the most critical piece of advice she gave me was to find a therapist who specializes in BPD. I'd love to.... if I can ever find the money to pay the therapist.

    My plan is to find a job pretty quick but.... usually, there's a three month wait before the insurance kicks in. What's worse, I may be either cutting back to part-time or quitting the job entirely shortly after that so I can go back to school, which, again, would screw up the insurance plans. A doc will probably be an out of pocket expense for me.

    Still, it's weird; I'm okay and everything now but I have this one, overwhelming fear that things will get really bad and I'll have a breakdown for no reason. I'm not totally sure how to deal with it. I'm scared.... of myself.
  8. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    hi tarajo

    even while you look for work you should be eligible for free care.Google your state and health care for low income.Do they have the safety net in your state?
    You do not have to go without help just because you are not employed...or have to wait until you are and for insurance to kick in..you might wait forever and then lose your job like I did.Its not reliable to wait around for a system that isnt interested in helping anyone.You CAN get help now.
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