under the heat

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by TJ, Nov 18, 2010.

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  1. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    so as u can tell by the title i dont use cutting as my form of SH , i use fire , ive been doing really well and got 5 weeks up of no harming myself , until tonight . ive been having trouble with my anger the last few weeks , been gettting really angry and frustrated with almost everything i do , and tonight it just boiled down to i need to harm myself to get the anger and frustration out before i did damage to others or to my house , i know that sounds bad because normally i wouldnt hurt a fly but my anger has become rage just recently . i had gotten rid of all my "tools" that i use to harm , and even to the point where i was using matches instead of lighters , but i went and brought a lighter tonight , i just cant not do anything to myself , the emotionally pain is unbearable its torture to live thru and this is the only way i know how to deal with it , :( i just cant handle life anymore i feel so useless and so vulnerable , normally i would talk with my sponser about this but she happens to be outta the country till tomorrow , which i know isnt far away but i just cant hold on any longer ... i know probably no one really cares and prob wont reply to this but i needed to get it out ...
     
  2. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    Sometimes its good just to get it out. I think you have done really well to get through five weeks.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 18, 2010
  3. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Firstly 5 weeks is brilliant - don't forget that achievement its important you hold onto that and what it means: 5 whole weeks without SH, 5 whole weeks coping without it :hug: Many struggle to go a day, an hour but u made 5 weeks :smile:

    I used cutting, fire, punching and whatever. Whatever the self harm it comes down to same thing really :hug: using it as a way to control and deal with your feelings. Thats ok , its not the best way but there are worse. You need other ways though, maybe pain is the key and something that causes pain without harming you because you are precious . I have used elastic bands, maybe u can find something that works for you.

    Please remember people do care, I will always be here for you, you can moan to me about anything you like :hug: and never feel guilty about it :smile:

    Love you hun :hug:
     
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