So after 4 weeks of depression getting worse, days of suicidal thoughts, days of self harm, days unable to get out of bed or to move at all, predominately caused by living in isolation, yesterday I had my appointment with my CBT therapist. It was incredibly underwhelming :disturbed: Rather than help over this panic about how alone I am I was told that it is normal to not see anyone for days, it is normal to only have a social occasion with friends once every two weeks, that I should learn to live with my own company. In a nutshell that there is no pursuit of new friends but rather I should just change the way I think when I am lonely and isolated for long periods. I don't know what I expected, ok some parts make perfect sense, such as that I have very black and white thinking that is causing problems, that I worry about things that aren't in my control and should focus what is up to me. But reality is that is just not going to happen, going to buy a can of coke isn't going to relieve lonliness, it might give off some mild positivity through breaking the cycle once, maybe twice, but after that it isn't going to work any more. On top of that it is Valentine's Day, and the girl I fell for is with someone else and I am struggling to let go. We went on a couple of dates before christmas, the last night before christmas went great, holding hands, she kissed me on the cheek, we went home for christmas, came back and the first week I was struggling to get a date again, she had jetlag and was busy, by the middle of the second week she said she didn't want to go out with me right now, that she didn't want that right now, that wasn't enough for me to let go. The next week was my birthday night out where I told her how much I can't let go and want a chance, she said she didn't like me anymore, 2 days later on facebook it comes up that she is now in a relationship with this other guy. So I feel inadequate and as if I have fucked up. I am still struggling to let go because I got attached quickly and was strung along a little. So I live in isolation where if it wasn't for watching Breaking Bad I would have nothing to do. My studying has diminished, motivation gone. I am supposed to accept having no friends, or just seeing a friend of the course once every 2 weeks? That is normal is it? How am I ever going to fall in love if I do not meet people, if I do not get out? How am I supposed to accept going out once every 2 weeks when I am a student who only has lectures 2 days a week, and who is single. I do not believe this is the norm, and if it is I do not believe it is one of healthy minded people. I do not believe there is someone happy in similar circumstances to me, with no opportunity, no leads.