I'm seriously considering killimg myself, and I'm unemotional about it. I don't want anyone to worry, I'm not about to do it or anything. Though I do have it all planned, I'm not certain yet. I'm not upset though. I don't want to die because I'm alone, or cos I recently lost someone close to me, or even cos I'm quite physically ill. I just feel like the time is almost right for me to go. There's no emotion about any of these things actually, even though I know I should be upset. It's like I don't feel anything, except... exhaustion? That's not quite the right word but I can't think of any other. Usually when I'm suicidal I'm desperate and crying and full of pain, but I feel quite fine. I just want to kill myself. Maybe I've just pushed all my emotions so far away that I can no longer feel them but I'm still feeling the effects. Or maybe I have a deeper psychological problem than I thought. I feel quite lucid though. Dying makes so much sense. I'm not protecting anyone or making a plea for help or attention. I just long for the end. I'm well aware that I could be wrong and dying isn't the best thing to do, and if so I'm open to any help and support anyone wants to give me. But I still want to die.