i dont understand this at all. i shud b so happy, iv got a wonderful boyf, things r going relatively good at schl yet i always feel this constant wave of sadness come over me, n i dnt wanna be around ppl, i jus wanna b alone and i think bout suicide and self harm and it scares me cos i dnt have a real reson,tht i can c for this feeling. And i have to pretend to be happy cos wen i look upset, like i often fyl, ppl ask whats wrong and im forced to say i dont know, cos i dont, i cant explain it, n then they have a go at me for being sad with no reason, n im so sick of it, i jus wanna b happy, n im relly struggling atm cos i threw my blades away a few days ago for my boyfriend n i relly wanna s/h atm and i jus fyl relly low n wanna talk to someone but i dont no who. i lost a lot of my friends recentli, some have been put in mental health units, some moved away, some of them i jus lost contact with, n i dont fyl i have any frends i cn talk to and who would understand. im jus scared about what im gonna do if this feeling continues, i dont trust myself cos i no what im capable of, and i dont want to hurt my boyfriend by tellin him this, cos he thinks im happy, n if he finds out im not he mite blame himself, n its not him at all. i jus really dont no what to do, how to feel, how to cope. and i v got major exams next weds :S:S:S:ohmy: if theres anybody out there who wudnt mind talkin to me, or helping me, id really appreciate it. meybe u cud email me, cos i dnt come on here tht often; [email protected]. thank you
aimee
aimee
