Life is so unfair to me.
Why does it have to be unfair to me.?
You never cared for me at all did you? Those were all lies to me.. When you both said that you loved me it was nothing but a lie.. a stupid lie to me. Why was i so dumb to trust you and your wife.. You meant more to me then you would ever know... Why did you do me that way? I cant stop thinking about it.. I cant stop thinking how you could just do that... Just walk out without thinking of my feelings... Why did you do that?
Doesnt the bible say not to hurt a fellow brother or in this case a sister like me? But you did and still do... you think you are doing the right thing? WELL YOUR NOT! You wanted me out of your life well brother minister in Christ i will be. I WILL BE OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOR GOOD NOW...
I dont see how you can stand there and pretend to be the innocent one... you DONT TELL SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY DOWN AND DEPRESSED AND DOESNT HAVE A FAMILY THAT YOU LOVE THEM THEN TURN AROUND AND WALK COMPLETLY OUT OF THEIR LIVES AFTER WALKING INTO THEIR LIVES ( WALKING INTO MY LIFE ) No one made you tell me that you and your wife loved me. YOU DID THAT ON YOUR OWN... YOU LIED TO ME.. YOU AND YOUR WIFE BOTH LIED TO ME... YOU KNEW HOW MUCH YOU BOTH MEANT TO ME BUT YOU BOTH DIDNT CARE AND NOW MY DEATH IS UPON YOUR HANDS...
THE longer you ignore me the easier it gets for me.... You took my love , my trust , my hopes , and BROKE THEM.... I was voluable , i was alone , i was hurting and you pretended to care but i thought it was real. I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL....
You can call yourself a minister of the Lord many times but that DOES NOT MAKE YOU ONE OF GOD.... A TRUE MINISTER OF GOD DOES NOT INFLICK PAIN UPON ANOTHER.... AND YOU HAVE.. YOU BOTH HAVE.. YOU BOTH HAVE HURT ME DEEPLY... you go on off into your little world and say that you loved me.. you go on and say that you tried to help me.. WHAT A BUNCH OF BULL SH;;T . YOU NEVER LOVED ME.. YOU SIMPLE DONT CARE. YOU HAVE NO HEART. at least none that comes from God..
I am in this pain. THIS EMOTIONAL PAIN BECAUSE YOU HELPED PUT ME HERE... When you left and walked out because you wanted nothing to do with me then you put this emotional pain upon me... YOU KNEW I LOVED YOU BOTH.. YOU KNEW I LIKED YOU LIKE PARENTS BUT NOOOOO YOU COULD NOT LOVE ME... YOU DIDNT WANT ME...
YOU BOTH PLAYED AND TOYED WITH MY HEART AND MY EMOTIONS ... you can continue to call me obseesed and you can continue to call me insane. I DONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK OF ME AND YES IM DRINKING AGAIN... i am going to get so drunk and wasted so my attempt will go through...
God i was so stupid to believe you cared.. HELL YOU DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME. NEVER DID .. HECK ALL THOSE TIMES YOU SAID YOU PRAYED FOR ME , HECK BET THAT WAS EVEN A STUPID LIE... I CANT BELIEVE YOU AND I CANT TRUST YOU EITHER... You both played upon my heart.. What will God say to that?
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND MY PAIN AND YOU COULDNT UNDERSTAND MY LOVE....
where are you at right now? Younare not here and you couldnt care at all what i do.. tomorrow i will end this stupid pathic life of mine and then you can be happy.. you have suceeded into killing a living being by hate... and by hurt... so stay away from me.. do not call , do not come by , just keep your destince from me so i can complete it...
you and your wife go on and be happy. go on and do your thing. go on and hurt others.. just how many have you and your wife did this too anyways? you said you never stay in one place no more then 6 years.. WHY IS THAT? CAUSE YOU DO OTHERS THE EXACT SAME WAY...
WELL LET ME TELL YOU BOTH .. YOU HURT ME.. YOU HURT ME WITH A DEEP EMOTIONAL HURT. YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO ME LIKE THAT. NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER... YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME OR MY FEELINGS. DID IT EVER OCCURE TO YOU TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE FOR A CHANGE? TO STOP AND THINK OF THEIR FEELINGS? OR ARE YOU SO HEARTLESS AND COLD THAT YOU CANT THINK OF NOTHING BUT YOURSELF?
WELL LET ME TELL YOU .. I AM SORRY I EVER MET YOU. I AM SORRY I EVER WENT TO CHURCH. I AM SORRY I TRUSTED YOU.. I AM SORRY I LET MYSELF BELIEVE IN YOU.. YOU BOTH WERE LIKE DREAM PARENTS TO ME BUT NOT ANYMORE...
I TRIED TO GET YOU TO FORGIVE ME BUT YOU CANT.. YOU ARE TOO SORRY TO EVEN TRY TO ACCEPT MY FORGIVENESS OR EVEN BE A FRIEND.. EVEN TO BE A CHRISTIAN BROTHER AND SISTER...
YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH HURT I HAVE BEEN PAID BACK.... IT WAS NOT ME THAT LIED ON YOU.. IT WAS MY NIECE... I TOOK THE BLAME TO PROTECT HER AND I DID WRONG AND THIS I ADMIT , RIGHT HERE , RIGHT NOW ONLINE... and maybe someday long after i have left this stupid pathic life she will own up to it... but you cant look past it.. you cant see that i have tried many times to get you and your wife to forgive me but no you cant can you...? you dont look past your own self and into me or my feelings...
well i hope the hell you both are happy.. i hope when you hear of my death that you come and see me in that casket and i hope you know that just because you never called , never came by , etc that you helped put me there. ALL IT WOULD HAVE TOOK WAS A PHONE CALL OR LETTER FROM YOU OR EVEN A VISIT , BUT.... SEEING AS HOW YOU ARE IN YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD AND CARE NOTHING FOR ME... SCREW YOU BOTH.....
AND ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO GOD AND YOU CAN NOT DENY IT THEN AND YOU KNOW GOOD AND DAMN WELL WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT... I DONT HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU....SO SCREW YOU , SCREW THIS LIFE...
Why does it have to be unfair to me.?
You never cared for me at all did you? Those were all lies to me.. When you both said that you loved me it was nothing but a lie.. a stupid lie to me. Why was i so dumb to trust you and your wife.. You meant more to me then you would ever know... Why did you do me that way? I cant stop thinking about it.. I cant stop thinking how you could just do that... Just walk out without thinking of my feelings... Why did you do that?
Doesnt the bible say not to hurt a fellow brother or in this case a sister like me? But you did and still do... you think you are doing the right thing? WELL YOUR NOT! You wanted me out of your life well brother minister in Christ i will be. I WILL BE OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOR GOOD NOW...
I dont see how you can stand there and pretend to be the innocent one... you DONT TELL SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY DOWN AND DEPRESSED AND DOESNT HAVE A FAMILY THAT YOU LOVE THEM THEN TURN AROUND AND WALK COMPLETLY OUT OF THEIR LIVES AFTER WALKING INTO THEIR LIVES ( WALKING INTO MY LIFE ) No one made you tell me that you and your wife loved me. YOU DID THAT ON YOUR OWN... YOU LIED TO ME.. YOU AND YOUR WIFE BOTH LIED TO ME... YOU KNEW HOW MUCH YOU BOTH MEANT TO ME BUT YOU BOTH DIDNT CARE AND NOW MY DEATH IS UPON YOUR HANDS...
THE longer you ignore me the easier it gets for me.... You took my love , my trust , my hopes , and BROKE THEM.... I was voluable , i was alone , i was hurting and you pretended to care but i thought it was real. I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL....
You can call yourself a minister of the Lord many times but that DOES NOT MAKE YOU ONE OF GOD.... A TRUE MINISTER OF GOD DOES NOT INFLICK PAIN UPON ANOTHER.... AND YOU HAVE.. YOU BOTH HAVE.. YOU BOTH HAVE HURT ME DEEPLY... you go on off into your little world and say that you loved me.. you go on and say that you tried to help me.. WHAT A BUNCH OF BULL SH;;T . YOU NEVER LOVED ME.. YOU SIMPLE DONT CARE. YOU HAVE NO HEART. at least none that comes from God..
I am in this pain. THIS EMOTIONAL PAIN BECAUSE YOU HELPED PUT ME HERE... When you left and walked out because you wanted nothing to do with me then you put this emotional pain upon me... YOU KNEW I LOVED YOU BOTH.. YOU KNEW I LIKED YOU LIKE PARENTS BUT NOOOOO YOU COULD NOT LOVE ME... YOU DIDNT WANT ME...
YOU BOTH PLAYED AND TOYED WITH MY HEART AND MY EMOTIONS ... you can continue to call me obseesed and you can continue to call me insane. I DONT GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK OF ME AND YES IM DRINKING AGAIN... i am going to get so drunk and wasted so my attempt will go through...
God i was so stupid to believe you cared.. HELL YOU DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME. NEVER DID .. HECK ALL THOSE TIMES YOU SAID YOU PRAYED FOR ME , HECK BET THAT WAS EVEN A STUPID LIE... I CANT BELIEVE YOU AND I CANT TRUST YOU EITHER... You both played upon my heart.. What will God say to that?
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND MY PAIN AND YOU COULDNT UNDERSTAND MY LOVE....
where are you at right now? Younare not here and you couldnt care at all what i do.. tomorrow i will end this stupid pathic life of mine and then you can be happy.. you have suceeded into killing a living being by hate... and by hurt... so stay away from me.. do not call , do not come by , just keep your destince from me so i can complete it...
you and your wife go on and be happy. go on and do your thing. go on and hurt others.. just how many have you and your wife did this too anyways? you said you never stay in one place no more then 6 years.. WHY IS THAT? CAUSE YOU DO OTHERS THE EXACT SAME WAY...
WELL LET ME TELL YOU BOTH .. YOU HURT ME.. YOU HURT ME WITH A DEEP EMOTIONAL HURT. YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO ME LIKE THAT. NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER... YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ME OR MY FEELINGS. DID IT EVER OCCURE TO YOU TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE FOR A CHANGE? TO STOP AND THINK OF THEIR FEELINGS? OR ARE YOU SO HEARTLESS AND COLD THAT YOU CANT THINK OF NOTHING BUT YOURSELF?
WELL LET ME TELL YOU .. I AM SORRY I EVER MET YOU. I AM SORRY I EVER WENT TO CHURCH. I AM SORRY I TRUSTED YOU.. I AM SORRY I LET MYSELF BELIEVE IN YOU.. YOU BOTH WERE LIKE DREAM PARENTS TO ME BUT NOT ANYMORE...
I TRIED TO GET YOU TO FORGIVE ME BUT YOU CANT.. YOU ARE TOO SORRY TO EVEN TRY TO ACCEPT MY FORGIVENESS OR EVEN BE A FRIEND.. EVEN TO BE A CHRISTIAN BROTHER AND SISTER...
YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH HURT I HAVE BEEN PAID BACK.... IT WAS NOT ME THAT LIED ON YOU.. IT WAS MY NIECE... I TOOK THE BLAME TO PROTECT HER AND I DID WRONG AND THIS I ADMIT , RIGHT HERE , RIGHT NOW ONLINE... and maybe someday long after i have left this stupid pathic life she will own up to it... but you cant look past it.. you cant see that i have tried many times to get you and your wife to forgive me but no you cant can you...? you dont look past your own self and into me or my feelings...
well i hope the hell you both are happy.. i hope when you hear of my death that you come and see me in that casket and i hope you know that just because you never called , never came by , etc that you helped put me there. ALL IT WOULD HAVE TOOK WAS A PHONE CALL OR LETTER FROM YOU OR EVEN A VISIT , BUT.... SEEING AS HOW YOU ARE IN YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD AND CARE NOTHING FOR ME... SCREW YOU BOTH.....
AND ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO GOD AND YOU CAN NOT DENY IT THEN AND YOU KNOW GOOD AND DAMN WELL WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT... I DONT HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU....SO SCREW YOU , SCREW THIS LIFE...