Two yrs ago, my family left me. Not the family you were born with, but the family u choose to be with. My real family always bounced in n out of my life. My best friend took me in. We had this dream, get rich, buy a big house so both families could be together. Since we were like in separatable anyway. Also, I helped raised her child from birth to age 5. She actually threw me out of her life after 11 yrs of knowing her and 5 yrs of her kid. I don't speak to them, she don't respond. I tried to move on, stated half way acrossed the state twice now. Life keeps bringing me back to this same town they live in. You wanna talk about a path that God sets out for u, Clearly noted I have to do something here. I just don't know what. I feel like all my choices, regardless of how hard I try to stay positive, result in me just letting go and let God judge me. It feels like my last chance to watch my goddaughter grow up. I miss her that bad. It's not the person, my friend I miss. It is her daughter more than anything. Of course I miss her too, but she hurt me pretty bad. Ditching me on several occasions, making me feel like I wasn't good enough as person to be around. She threw me away after 11 yrs like I was never her friend, her family. The more I think about this all. The more I want to think no matter how hard I fight, stay sober, and keep going; my end result will be my hand and waiting for God to judge my heart. It feels like it is all pushing me there. At this point, idk why I'm bothering to say anything. The last place I went, didn't even respond to me. Chat rooms ignored me. I don't expect anything different but just wanted to get this out of my head and onto somewhere.