I have been completely unhinged and out of reality since Friday.... Too much to go into but the agony is unbearable. The sweet thought of ending it all is so appealing at this time but I'm trying to hold on. I received some support today and last Saturday night after I admitted to my Aunt of my two failed suicide attempts. She was in shock, she asked me if I was off my meds, I told her no. Meds do not stop the thoughts or actions. They supposedly just keep me somewhat stable. I really need to pull it together! My mind is just been all over the place and it's hard to concentrate at work. I just took some more benzos and am going to see if I can relax and watch some television. I hope I can get some decent rest tonight and have a better day tomorrow.