I went past the place where I'm meant to be doing 'Race For Life' this year, and got some awful flashbacks. It shouldn't be so bad. It wasn't the place where it happened. We were there before it happened - we got in his car, went to another park and then it happened. So why does just walking past the first park make me feel so bad? I shouldn't feel so bad - I didn't fight it, I let it happen. I let it happen, cos I didn't want to lose my only chance of being loved. I stayed with him for 13 months after that, because I didn't want to let go of that chance. I did things I never thought I would do (or at least, not so soon), just to keep him happy. I woke up so many weekends after nightmares of what had happened, only to look into the face of the person who'd done it. He doesn't know that, I bet he never will. I'm a slut. Just a stupid ungrateful slut. His friends were right - I didn't deserve him, I was never good enough for him. I shouldn't be complaining that he felt me up like that, or about what he said to me, both were more than I deserved. He was more than I deserved. I'm just a slut, and everyone can see it. That's why I'm being treated like this by guys now, isn't it? Because they know, they know I'm far too easy. Say you care, and that's it. That's how life's gonna be now, isn't it? I'm a stupid fat ugly slut, that's all I'll ever be, and that's all I'll ever be good for.