University or not?

[richard 1998]

So just a few hours ago, I was very close to committing suicide but my parents ended up calling the police.
So i sat there, at home, with 2 officers. I talked to them for some time until the doctor came (almost 2 hours later)
The conversation with the psychiatrist was pretty bad but he didnt force me into a psych ward so im lying in my bed now.

But the important part is, before leaving, one of the officers spoke to me and said, that he was in college until he was 30, stayed home because he was afraid of leaving his mom to his abusive dad...

And i feel like im on a turning point right now...
I want to study, law is the most interesting subject...

But i just cant handle the anxiety, im not sure if its only now due to my depression...
But if it keeps going like that I have to quit...

And Ive honestly thought about becoming a police officer...
Im just not sure if someone like me is able to become one at all...
And i somehow think, even though i know that it isnt true, that not going to university is... bad... unprestigious...
Id be the only one I know, who hasnt got a degree and a highly respected job....
And that i would hate myself afterwards for not becoming like my peers from highschool (doctors, engineers, lawyers etc.)

I honestly think that im being an elitist but i dont know how to turn off that way of thinking... i want to go down a path that i perhaps also hate? I dont know...

And in the end... i dont know if doing that change would get rid of the depression at all...
I just cant trust myself because sometimes i feel so bad and hopeless...

 

[may71]

So just a few hours ago, I was very close to committing suicide

I'm sorry to heat that you're feeling so bad Richard

one of the officers spoke to me and said, that he was in college until he was 30, stayed home because he was afraid of leaving his mom to his abusive dad..

That cop sounds pretty cool

I think @Lulabelle mentioned something called recovery college.

It sounds like pending time working on your health and well being would be a good idea

Other things like career may become clearer over time

 

[Dawn]

So sorry u are going through so much and I am so glad that u are still here with us.

Go with your heart. Believe me all that elitist bullshit is vain and empty and will never bring u happiness. Strive for kindness; because that is true success. Join a good cause and help make a good difference on this Earth.

I do doubt that a cop would be a good profession for u. It is a HIGH pressure job, so that would probably be difficult with anxiety. But if u really believe in it and can go along with murderous coverups. No problem! Because that IS, sadly, a part of that job, just like doctors cover up malpractice. Or, u will no longer be a cop or doctor. Some facts in this life just suck so damn bad. (Please see note below for clarification)

No matter what u do, I really wish u well. And it is a good thing, u know inside that that elitist shit is wrong. And it is very wise to see that at the end, u would hate the waste and shallowness of it all. Good luck to u!

 

[Walker]

Hi there.
You know what's kind of messed up is that we want young people to pick their careers so early. Dude, listen, you've got time. Look around. Take your time. Work some jobs. Feel it out. Go to school. See what you like. The world isn't going anywhere! But it's not gonna be there if you kill yourself Richard. You're obv a young smart caring guy trying to find his place - and that is perfectly ok.

 

[richard 1998]

I spoke to my therapist and to a psychatrist yesterday.
I started with a new anti depressants...

I also spoke to my therapist about this topic and he suggested, that I shouldn't make big decisions right now

And when I think about it, I believe that I probably wouldn't even pass police academy, as I am relatively fit, but I have back problems and that's why I didn't go to the military (obligatory here in Switzerland)... and according to my friend, having the rank of soldier or higher is required for both male and female officers in Switzerland...

I think I really should give myself more time and just see how stuff develops... (the weird thing is just that I can separate between fact and emotions for example about the elitism, but in the end I still struggle with turning the emotional part off, for example feeling like a loser when not going to college)

But first things first, I need to get used to the new medication... I just hope that it keeps my mood under control, I don't ever want to go back to the dark places I've been the past few months...

 

[Dawn]

I think that is very wise. I do understand so much what u say. I struggle with it too, and feel like a loser. It does really suck to feel so badly, I know. The world is so focused on the things that don't really matter, so it is so easy to be caught up in that and feel lost. Especially, when everyone around u is doing so well. Not to mention, the horrible social media that u have to contend with, that is so focused on all the things that shouldn't really matter and everybody looking like they have perfect little lives!

I think u are doing very good because u are wise enough and have a good heart to see through all of that!

Also, I would like to add, that I was mainly speaking of our cops here in the US, who are WAY too trigger happy and sadly, get away with murder even when on video. Sorry to change the subject, just thought it would be something to consider if in the US.

I wish u all of the best and I am glad to hear that u are getting proper care. U deserve all the best in this life. U really do.

 

[Dawn]

I forgot to mention, that u may want to consider a trade school. I am sure that u have thought of this already, but a lot of those jobs pay more than a college degree, but of course without as much prestige. But if interested in certain things, it could work out very well for u. I hope u don't ever return to those dark places too. It is so unbearable.

If u like being around the elderly or causes like that, being in Social Services is a commendable and respectful job. But it sure doesn't pay very well monetarily. But I enjoyed it very much, and it was so rewarding. But u have plenty of time to decide, and I am glad u are just focused on getting better for now. Hope u don't mind me going on so much.

 

[gypsylee]

Hi @richard 1998

My friend lives in Switzerland and has a Masters in Linguistics and Literature from a university in Zurich. Pretty impressive hey? Well she can’t get a job. I’m similar - I have a business degree from one of Melbourne’s top universities and I get a pension for “psychiatric” problems :rolleyes:

 

[richard 1998]

I think that is very wise. I do understand so much what u say. I struggle with it too, and feel like a loser. It does really suck to feel so badly, I know. The world is so focused on the things that don't really matter, so it is so easy to be caught up in that and feel lost. Especially, when everyone around u is doing so well. Not to mention, the horrible social media that u have to contend with, that is so focused on all the things that shouldn't really matter and everybody looking like they have perfect little lives!

I think u are doing very good because u are wise enough and have a good heart to see through all of that!

Also, I would like to add, that I was mainly speaking of our cops here in the US, who are WAY too trigger happy and sadly, get away with murder even when on video. Sorry to change the subject, just thought it would be something to consider if in the US.

I wish u all of the best and I am glad to hear that u are getting proper care. U deserve all the best in this life. U really do.

True. I think that growing up in an environment where most people are "successful" as in education and financially, pressures us to be the same.
I have considered a trade school, but I really dont know right now.
I really enjoy what im studying right now and i would probably only quit when i see that i cant handle the stress...

 

[richard 1998]

Hi @richard 1998

My friend lives in Switzerland and has a Masters in Linguistics and Literature from a university in Zurich. Pretty impressive hey? Well she can’t get a job. I’m similar - I have a business degree from one of Melbourne’s top universities and I get a pension for “psychiatric” problems :rolleyes:

That sucks :/
I know that competition, even among highly qualified people is extremely high...
Just hope that all turns out well

 

[gypsylee]

That sucks :/
I know that competition, even among highly qualified people is extremely high...
Just hope that all turns out well

My friend and I both agree that our university qualifications were pretty much a waste of time and effort, and if we could go back (we’re in our 40s now) we’d do things very differently. My daughter is in her final year of high school and I’ve told her I think she should travel (and work) before embarking on career stuff.

 

[Dawn]

Same here @gypsylee. I struggled to find something with my degree too, but then got into social work so it did work out well for me eventually. But I know so many ppl with masters degrees etc and never used it. Sooo overrated! Not worth the money anymore so often, unless something specific and confident u can actually use it. Way overrated and a bunch of BS anymore for the most part really.

 

[gypsylee]

I was sent to a private school and noone even questioned going to university straight after. If you got high grades you did Law or Medicine.. I was just below that so I did Business, ugh :confused:

 

[Mishka1204]

I went through the Uni with depression and anxiety. If you choose that route I just want to say that you can do it and this shouldn't stop you. But if you don't choose it there is nothing wrong with that. Just don't let the depression decide what you are choosing.

 

[Shelly]

i'm turning 26 soon, i failed civil service exam, exam for med school, and board exam... it affected me greatly and negatively.

i tried law school but it never felt right for me. My parents want me to either be a lawyer or a doctor.
i feel they were just being an elitist.

i feel embarrassed about going back to school and trying again at 26 :/... my same aged peers, high school friends now all have job and good jobs too, i am starting to understand my parents' point of view but i know something just doesn't feel right, and that is part of being elitist or succumbing to peer pressure to be like everybody else "successful early on age", "achieving goal in time"... and not being any of those make it feel like you're left out or behind everyone one else.

there's nothing wrong with going back to school as long as you're doing what you really want.

I am still learning to practice this but,
Success is not dictated by how fast you get there or if you took the same amount as everybody else.
what matters most is that you will eventually get there and dont lose hope. Take your time.

 

[Ashley Fettuccine]

I'm sorry you're having these negative thoughts. There's a stigma behind not going to college because people are assumed that they're stupid or incompetent when that really isn't true. However, my boyfriend's dad dropped out of high school in his sophomore year and he became a platform architect for Bank of America. I think it's all about having a niche or passion for something, and I know right now that it can be hard trying to find something like that in a time that you're going through. I always felt embarrassed that I went to community college instead of a university right out of high school, but it's given me a lot of knowledge and it was a great stepping stone to start from so now I'm prepared for what university has to offer. When you're ready, maybe look into a community college?

 

[richard 1998]

i've started thinking about this a lot again...

im kinda being overdramatic... what i have to decide right now, is wheter i write my exam in 2 weeks or coming christmas...

it really doesnt matter that much but i really kinda want to do it in 2 weeks because ive worked so much this year for this, despite being very depressed...

i dont know why i put so much pressure on myself...

i feel so indecisive...

 

[Ashley Fettuccine]

@richard 1998 I know that it can be hard to make a decision like this, but do what you feel most comfortable doing. If you think you can handle doing it in 2 weeks, do it. If not, you should wait till Christmas. I know I make it sound simple saying it like that when it's not, but if your mental state will affect the work you do, it may be best to take a break and take care of yourself. Do what you are comfortable with

 

[richard 1998]

@richard 1998 I know that it can be hard to make a decision like this, but do what you feel most comfortable doing. If you think you can handle doing it in 2 weeks, do it. If not, you should wait till Christmas. I know I make it sound simple saying it like that when it's not, but if your mental state will affect the work you do, it may be best to take a break and take care of yourself. Do what you are comfortable with

I've already spoken with my therapist, psychiatrist, my parents and friends about this.

I won't write it in 2 weeks... I'm just not in the mental state for that...
It's kinda a hard decision for me to take but well... here we are and i guess this is just to right thing... Even though i dont feel 100% like that

 

[Ashley Fettuccine]

I know, it seemed like you worked really hard for it and it's hard to really settle into that decision. I get the same way when it comes to school things, I push myself to do more than I'm capable, but it takes a lot of courage to admit that you're not ready to accomplish a challenge. It shows that you know yourself and you're taking the steps to take care of yourself. It sounds simple, but I remember you said you could do it in Christmas, you have an opportunity there. While you wait, maybe you could study and prep yourself until then. My hugs and love go out to you