its almost 2am here and I can't fall back asleep. My brother came in the house with 2 of his friends at 12am my dad went completely pysco as he was drunk off his ass. He started yelling and bitching bout how he owns the house and that mom bro and I shouldn't even be here, life is a living hell right now and all I can think of is slicing myself up and swallowing a bottle of codine, just to eaz the pain. Earlier today my dad had hit me, left his handprint down my face. I immediatly grabed the knief and started slicing away. I have my baby kitten here and she's what ive been holding onto. I want to escape this life, I mentioned to someone today about going to Chicago to get raped and killed he told me that he cared about me and wouldnt want that to happen to me, does he really care or is he just being sincere? I got the phrase "ditch the bitch" stuck in my head right now, I'm the bitch and somehow I need to ditch myself, I feel so unloved and abandoned ive got no one to turn to no one to hold me and tell me everything will be ok, I beg for someone at school to just reach out and save me, but no one will I'm the freak the one labeled ED- emotionally disturbed. Teachers see That and kno not to speak to me. I just want someone to listen. When I wasn't ready to get help they were all there now that I'm ready to get help I'm all alone. Just ditch the bitch.