Over the last few weeks I've noticed so many strong relationships (including friendships) that have formed here, and suddenly I can't help but feel completely alone. Yes I know that some of you care about me, but when I look at you guys you seem so strong together. And when I'm there, I feel pushed to the side. Expendable. Like if something did happen to me, no-one would notice. Maybe I'm just not around enough. Or not at the right times anyway. I never seem to be around when people need me, which tends to be around 1-5 am. I hate it. But my phone's on almost constantly (and always on on a night), which should be some help, but would anyone call me? No, because I've not been there before. It's a vicious circle that I just can't break, which makes me feel even more alone. Right now I'm close to tears, because I can't see a way out of this situation. I hate it, but I can't change it. In fact, it seems to be only getting worse. I'm sure there should be someone I should feel okay about contacting when I feel like this, but I can't think of anyone. I'm sorry for wasting your time on something that you'll probably just tell me to snap out of. I'm sorry for wanting an idea for a solution.