unmasking the real me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MOMMYOF3, Feb 28, 2007.

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    MOMMYOF3 Member

    I feel like at any moment I am going to be revealed to the people in my life to be the true me, not the me they all see. I am scared all the time about the truth getting out. I will be such a shame on my family. It is getting harder and harder to keep the mask on. I literally feel as if I am ripping at my own skin. The disapointment I feel every morning when I wake up and find myself still alive is getting to be too much to take. I have stopped taking all my Lupus medication, I am hoping that that will help to ravage my body and make death come sooner. I am scared to kill myself but I am more scared to keep on living this life I have that is one big lie. I won't ask you all for help, because I am helpless and not worth saving.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and I am so sorry things are so rough for you right now...posting how you feel shows that you are not helpless, and of course, worthy of being supported and cared for...there are many of us here who truly understand feeling useless and worthless, but that does not mean we are...please continue to let us know how you are doing so we can show you how much you count...please PM me if I can be there for you, big hugs, Jackie
  3. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Hello Mommy, don't give up. Whatever else, suicide is not the answer. Your family will only support you in your time of need. Families are meant to help us, not hurt us right? I can promise that if my son or daughter was in a time of need, I would only help him or her. You have nothing to be ashamed about and I'm sure your family only wants to help you. Wouldn't you help your family member if he was in the same position as you are now?

    MOMMYOF3 Member

    I really do feel like it is the only answer, I think it may be the chance for my children to have a better life. This is not a rash decision, I have looked at this from every possible angle and I truly believe this is the best solution for everyone. I am so tired of trying to go through the motions of my life I just don't want to try anymore. I am just afraid that I will screw it up just like I screw everything else up.

  5. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    hey, we are here for you, whether you just need to talk, or you need someone to help you with something. because thats what we are here for, to help you in any way possible.
  6. Don't do anything that you'll regret, because this is not the answer. It's not ,trust me. Just keep holding on!
  7. immure

    immure Account Closed

    how old r ur kids, have u considered u have post partu, depression or some other treatable condition
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