Unstable

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Moses, Jan 17, 2012.

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  1. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwshit...Alright. So, recently, for some inexplicable reason, I was doing great. My daily thoughts of suicide had gone away and I had only lingering suggestions of misery. Then, my old thoughts starting coming back and I tried to push them away. They weren't as intense as before, but I could almost physically feel all the negative feelings returning. Then, my girlfriend just broke up with me; which was especially, hilariously ironic in the most cruel way because the day before she broke up with me, I decided that I love her. When she broke up with me, I was extremely casual about it and I honestly felt fine, but then I started feeling sadness slowly throughout the day. I began to shift between thoughts of optimism and suicide. I know I didn't really love her...I think, but there's just something, I don't know how to feel or what I feel. I keep experiencing rapid, uncontrollable shifts in mood. I can physically feel myself being choked and dragged into the dark awful feelings I thought I finally had under control. And now I'm constantly contending with my old thoughts of suicide. I can't stand the uncertainty; not knowing what I feel. I feel sick half of the time. I just don't feel right.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Moses i am so sorry your emotions are playing havoc with you. It is so hard when you just don't know what is going to hit you and when Have you talked to your doctor about these mood changes to see if anything can be changed up with meds or therapy i do hope you you can get some stability back hun before you go to deep hugs
     
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