Unsupportive Spouse

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by PrimusPilus, Jan 28, 2016.

  1. PrimusPilus

    PrimusPilus Member

    So, I'm a solo practitioner attorney whose practice is not doing very well. Money is a big stressor at home. I feel like a huge failure. I used to try to keep this a secret from my wife, but she found out and said for me to tell her when we needed help paying bills. So, when I did as she asked, she pouted up and cried. So, I haven't asked anymore.

    I applied for a job about 6 hours away from where we live. It pays over double what we've both made in our best years. I had a phone interview which went well, and they wanted me to drive up and meet me in person. I told my wife about the interview, and how much it paid. She asked where it was, said we'd never be able to sell our house, then she went to our bedroom, laid down on the bed in a fetal position, and didn't say anything else to me. There's just no winning with her. What am I supposed to do?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Go for job interview it will make both your lives easier it will sounds like your wife has a hard time with change that all once you have establish yourself there and have moved she will not be so afraid of everything you stay strong ok
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I think that you need to remind your wife that a marriage is a partnership and she is your wife not your child. I am sorry if that sounds a little bit harsh, but as an adult and your partner she needs to step up. It is not your responsibility to provide everything.

    While I understand her not wanting to move if she has connections to the area you are in, she needs to understand that she can't just keep checking out and expecting you to deal with everything. I think you should go to the interview - if you get the job you don't have to take it but you should at least have that option. If she really doesn't want to move she needs to get a job.

    I am sorry this is happening to you - but while you accept this behavior she will probably continue to act in this way. Try to have a frank conversation with her about it and if she cries and pouts, let her. Her tears and pouting make no difference to what is needed.
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