unsure about everything

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I am new here but im just so confused about life I don't know where else to go. I am very stressed about college. Im going to a community college while all my other friends are going to a 4 year, but alot are going to live at home so I don't even know why im stressed. I live with my boyfriend and am totally happy with him but I feel like I don't have a social life besides him and some of his friends that come over even once in a while. My best friend is going to school 4 hours away but says we will still be able to talk like we do now. well I just talked to her and she said it was my fault I don't have a life and said she knew all along that I wouldn't have any friends once school ended. I hate being alone but I don't like hanging out with people because I never know what to do or say.

I really didn't start thinking about doing anything until I watched the noon news and heard that 2 people died last night from being hit by trains. It got me thinking. My boyfriend works nights and it would be so easy.

A few months ago I was so close to death I knew it but my mother interrupted (the method i used was easy to get out of if i really wanted to) by knocking on my bedroom door for something urgent but every since then Ive been thinking about the feeling I had that time.


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"A feeling you had then" leads me to believe that you might now be in that place right now. Not having friends other than your boyfriend's friends should not lead to hurting yourself. Do you have hobbies? Are there after school activities at your community college. The one here has student government, and other clubs related to career choices. There are volunteer options everywhere for contributing and making friends. Friends are out there. You just need to reach out to find them.


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Well - I do know some woman who are just happy with their men - and life is kind of based around him and the family - that IS the social life for many - which is nice but fairly boring sometimes.

Most women I know do have a fair few female friends. In fact - its usually a good sign - less likely to be depressed if you have that close friendship with people.

Women tend to share more than men. Men - we say nothing to each really - I'd admit I felt like dying - but more a macho statement of bravery - or stupidity. Besides I play guitar I can say things like that - its expected - and I could always blame it on something.

Anyhow - school is a big change - I left but kept in touch with all my mates as none of them went to university. More went to jail which is like a university in many ways.

School kind of forces friendships - we get along with people as we know their personalities.

Well after school we have college or uni - or work - and we will meet new people.

Depression is hard - makes it harder to make freinds - but for me it worked in reverse as depression made me more caring in many ways - it was either that or become a bit like the a lot of men who just take out their anger on others.

I've never done that - well, I find bullies to take it out on - bigger than me - I like a challenge - no point in living really unless we have a challenge!

My challenge to you is simple.

Its like putting one foot in front of the other - and at some point you will do that - see what is out there - take up a course - learn things - become confident as you mix with people.

You HAVE got a lot to say. Your a woman - I've never met one yet who could not talk all night! And - actually - that's fine with me. After all your fairly bright - you would have many things to say - and its just a matter of being with people who you feel relaxed with.

I'm sure you will make lots of friends!

And then you will be able to talk to people.

Maybe you ought to talk to your boyfriend - how upset would he be if your body was dragged, in pieces, off some lonesome railways track?

Talk to him.

Good luck - but all will go well I'm sure.
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