I am new here but im just so confused about life I don't know where else to go. I am very stressed about college. Im going to a community college while all my other friends are going to a 4 year, but alot are going to live at home so I don't even know why im stressed. I live with my boyfriend and am totally happy with him but I feel like I don't have a social life besides him and some of his friends that come over even once in a while. My best friend is going to school 4 hours away but says we will still be able to talk like we do now. well I just talked to her and she said it was my fault I don't have a life and said she knew all along that I wouldn't have any friends once school ended. I hate being alone but I don't like hanging out with people because I never know what to do or say. I really didn't start thinking about doing anything until I watched the noon news and heard that 2 people died last night from being hit by trains. It got me thinking. My boyfriend works nights and it would be so easy. A few months ago I was so close to death I knew it but my mother interrupted (the method i used was easy to get out of if i really wanted to) by knocking on my bedroom door for something urgent but every since then Ive been thinking about the feeling I had that time.