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Unsure about therapy

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by Terrari, Feb 18, 2018.

  1. Terrari

    Terrari New Member

    So I got scared and didn't come back to this site for a long time. I'm here now because I'm starting to consider therapy. Thing is do I really need it? Is it going to actually help me? I feel like I'm not ready for it. Like I'm not ready to change myself, and if I'm not willing to change myself for the better, then nobody can help me. I also feel like my reason for maybe going is stupid. I think I might have social anxiety, but I feel like therapy is for people that have bigger problems than I do. I feel like the solution to my social anxiety problem is to just get a job, do it and ignore everything. But I can't ignore everything, I worry about what I'm doing, what people think of me, and I worry about my own feelings.

    If I did go to therapy, how is it suppose to help me? There's no magical cure to make me stop thinking like this, I feel like this is just who I am and nothing can be changed. I can imagine what it might be like. Maybe I'll talk a bit, then I'm assigned to do some work on improving my social skills(like homework) in between sessions. I'm afraid of wasting time(mine and theirs) and wasting money(my family's). I don't know what to do, I'm just stuck feeling too scared to do anything.
  2. Paisley

    Paisley * * * SF Artist SF Supporter

    You do have to be proactive, but they help you figure out what exactly it is you need to do. It's not a magical process in the slightest; rather it's always going to be lots of hard work that you have to put effort into. But if your social anxiety is to the point where it's interfering with things you want to do then therapy would absolutely be worth a shot. If there's any chance at all that it could help you, I think you owe it to yourself to at least trial run it. You can always stop going if it's too much. Their time isn't wasted, it's what their job is, and your time and family's money is potentially wasted, that's true... but there's at least a small hope that the experience might yield positive results.

    Trying to ignore the thoughts won't work. Any homework they make you do is stuff like being aware of the patterns that your thoughts take, and when you start being unrealistically harsh on yourself to take a step back and give yourself a mental pep talk (called cognitive behavioural therapy). Or if that doesn't work there's also other strategies they can advise you on. I'm just saying what my T uses for me. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
  3. Lilyfrog

    Lilyfrog Well-Known Member

    Hi Welcome back to SF
    Sometimes you feel you arent ready to change yourself because you are scared of the change, or you dont know how to make the change. Therapy can help you explore these ways and make you feel more comfortable making the changes. As for therapy not being for people with social anxiety and for people with bigger problems, I would say not. Social Anxiety is a big problem and can be very disabling.
  4. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    Depends what kinda therapy you're going for.
    The purpose of therapy is often to help you get to a place where you're ready to change, at which point you often wouldn't need the therapist but could do it on your own.
  5. Terrari

    Terrari New Member

    I'm scared that nothing can help me, but I decided to go ahead and email someone for an appointment. They replied and said it would take a couple of weeks for me to meet them since they are busy with other clients. I feel like wouldn't even know what to say if I do go. I feel like I might just tense up and act like everything is fine and it's not really a big deal. I'm also embarrassed that if I do say anything, I might start crying, because I cry easily when I talk about my problems with anyone.

    I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in therapy, I've never done this before. I only ever just hear about how people with mental illnesses should go to therapy to get better mentally.

    Thank you all for replying, I really appreciate it
  6. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    Good luck with the appointment.
    Hope you work out easily whether this is the therapist you want to work with.
    Therapy helps anyone be better, so why not?
  7. Paisley

    Paisley * * * SF Artist SF Supporter

    They'll probably ask you some questions about your childhood / the catalysts for your feeling bad so that they can understand what formed your thought process. So even if you act like everything's fine it'll be alright. They just want to know where you're coming from. And I really do feel for you concerning anxiety about crying, to me that's the worst part of the whole experience. My only suggestion would be to avoid eye makeup that day because it stings fiercely if it gets in your eyes and just makes you cry more. The main reason for going, for me, is to pick up coping skills so I can function in daily life a bit less painfully.