Unsure about which road i should take

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MPRA2, Sep 6, 2013.

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  1. MPRA2

    MPRA2 New Member

    I just made this account during school today.... I really have been through more than a 17 year old should in a 2 year period... I have been depressed since 2009. I never had any "true love" that others around me find. And in 2011 my grandma had died because of her diabetes. And 8 months later, my childhood house was forclosed, and ontop of that, my parents became seperated.... I never really had a relationship with my dad.... But i loved my mom more that anything...around spring 2012 my mom, sis, and I moved into a really shit apartment with elderly neighbors who complained too much... My dad lived in his car for a few weeks before he moved in with us. (it was complicated) i was horribly depressed around that time, and i contemplated suicide every day.... My mom and my two friends were the only things that kept meaning in my life. Unfortunately, my life didnt get any better.... On May 20th, my mom committed suicide in our old garage... They found <edit mod total eclipse method>.... I found out on a school day, 4 days after my mom left with her friends at a brewer's game... I never said "I love you mom!" before she left.... At the funeral, my dad told everyone that he had that second <edit mod method> set up for himself, and had planned to <edit mod method>as well, leaving my sis and I homeless and without parents... Skipping to now..... Half of the girlfriends i had up in my new town used me... The rest just didnt fit what i was looking for..... Also, school life took a toll on me.. I had, and still have no friends here anymore, and nobody to talk to... My dad over-reacts when any signs of suicide come up.. I tried killing myself a few times...... I tried i tried <edit mod method> and i keep having thoughts on driving my car into Lake Michigan..... My last girlfriend cheated on me and got pregnant because she needed "a man's touch" and the girlfriend that i currently have left me because she is moving to West Virginia. And now everyone at school doesnt talk to me. And now i cant get a girlfriend. I keep thinking of my mom, and i just cant take it anymore... I thinkabout suicide every day... Every waking second..... I hate being alone, and i hate not finding the right partner... My name is <edit mod total eclipse person information>..... I am a 17 year old male.. I really am desperate for any type of support..... But actually... I pretty much just need someone to talk to
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 6, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You have been through so much hun and i am sorry your mother left you I do hope hun you reach out to councilor at your school and get support for you and sister ok get some grief counseling to help you Don't struggle on your own. Your father needs to reach out to but that is his job to do I do hope you get some supports in place ok hugs to you
  3. Tamira

    Tamira Member

    I'm really sorry for your mother and for your situation.. If you need someone to talk with I'm here... I am alone too, I don't have anyone with me except my animals.. If you want, you can write to me in private-messages.. I can try as possible as I can to allay your pain
  4. MPRA2

    MPRA2 New Member

    Oh Mai god your fluttershy!
    That comment made my day.. Thanks for the support :)
    Oh and yeah I watch MLP: FiM....
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