unsure if i want to live

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by _Lily_, Feb 1, 2013.

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  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Am unsure if i want to live at the moment ...am so tried of everything ...am getting no help with my eating disorder because am obese and my BMI is 41 i cant see a dietician until my BMI is 17 or under or if i am diabetic witch am not
    I cant afford to pay for one outside of the NHS because am on disability benefits .
    Am hardly eating at all some times as low as 300 calories a day some times 700 calories a day some times 1000 calories a day
    and before anyone says i cant lose weight because of starvation mode i have been and am still losing weight
    The only things my dr can do is weight me and thats about it

    Also i feeling very depressed ...i miss my dad a lot and really want to be with him
    Am falling apart at the moment
  2. Slange

    Slange Member

    Your dad is still with you now. Call on him for help. Call on all the love and advice he gave you while he was here and find strength from him. You are his daughter and he is in you. He really is. Try to eat. Your calorie intake is not enough and I am sure it's affecting your emotions and despair. I know you need to lose weight but you need to eat well too. If you can't see someone go on the 'net (which you are obviously doing) to find some help for your eating disorder. It sounds like your physical health is really affecting your emotional health. You are wise to reach out. Keep doing that. You are not alone.
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Of course you miss your Dad. We miss forever the people we loved and / or loved us. It takes a long time to get used to that loss. Well done for losing weight, I know how difficult that is. If your B.M.I is 41 you should qualify for specialist help. I know the health system in Scotland is not exactly the same as England's but 41 should enable you to be referred on by your G.P. Have you thought of seeing another G.P. either at your current surgery or another one?
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs toyou hun i am sorry you are in so much emotional pain hugs
  5. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    I dont know what they do down in England ...here they dont do much really ...i can ask another dr see what they say
    but i dont gold out much hope and i get help online but i cant find any groups for those who have eating disorders i have looked on the Beat website there is nothing in Scotland or In Edinburgh
  6. Slange

    Slange Member

    Hi, maybe you already know this but there is an eating disorders forum right here on this forum site. Go to the main menu and scroll down and you'll see it.
  7. listless

    listless Banned Member

    DA, if I might suggest, starving yourself could make things worse for you. You should simple consume the minimum calories required for a person of your age and height (so you'd be dieting but not starving). When you consume less, your body goes into starvation mode and tries to store all the food you eat as fat-since it thinks you're living in a famine or something.

    Eating right, sleeping right, exercise will go a long way to making you feel better. Many people who were obese got fit and healthy again, but it takes focus, discipline and work. I used to be fit in my 20s, now I'm about 30 lbs overweight. I'm around 210lbs but I'm planning to lose a lot more weight than that since I'm thinking about transitioning to a female, something I had really wanted to do for a long time.

    So both of us have a long road ahead. A close relative of mine used to weigh 135 lbs but after her 2 pregnancies, she got very obese...however she made a plan, controlling diet and exercising and in 2 years she is close to her normal weight again, it can be done and you're not alone in this struggle.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2013
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