Unsure of myself, and everything that I do

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Aphorism, Nov 25, 2012.

  1. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    Not sure why I struggle...why remain conscious...why would I want to die when I could live? Why is it so easy, but so difficult? Everything is full of abstract juxtaposition, of self-loathing, and sporadic moments of true contentedness. If I was being honest, I fantasize about my death. But there are certain parts of my life that I really like. I feel eternally conflicted.

    Sorry this was so vague. I guess most of all I'm just scared of the future, sometimes doubting its sincerity of being an improvement to my current situation. I also am losing sight of the point. I don't have goals, I don't have an idea of what my career will be, or even how my social life will end up. I'm scared I'll end up alone, so utterly alone as I feel now. It feels so hopeless, endless, and vapid.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Aphorism life can get pretty scary sometimes The trick is to take just one day at a time sometimes and not think to far ahead. LIfe will always have its uncertainties hun but that is ok that is what makes life interesting. If you can hun try to talk to someone a therapist a councilor who can help you decide what path you would be interested in hugs
     
  3. Wispiwill

    Wispiwill Well-Known Member

    Maybe you like the idea of having a choice - an option - in case things get bad? As a sort of safety net?
     
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Aphorism - good on you for reaching out for some support honey - is there a Careers Advisor/Counsellor attached to your college or high school who you could talk to about this? They would have the training to point you in the right direction and give you some good ideas. All the various aspects to do with life can seem overwhelming, and like TE has said, just one day at a time is the best way to live it. Nobody knows what their future has in store for them exactly - and there are some things we just can not control...... - so welcome to the human situation which we all share, and are here to support each other in, to listen and to love by extending empathy - ......

    One one-liner though I've just thought of, is that in life we tend to get what we dwell on.......... So if, each morning, we start by saying "Today is all that today is, and I can do my best to make it a good day by what I tell myself"..... in this way you can learn how to grab the reins of your life, hun :)