Unsure what to do

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by MoAnamCara, Jul 6, 2015.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    So what might seem silly has sent me into spirals this evening. Someone I know jumped me and I didn't know they were there and they put their hands around my waist. I screamed and then left that location. I'm still shaking, hours later. I'm tired of all this bs hanging around me, what I mean is how things still affect me now that happened years ago. To ask the age old question..is this as good as it gets? It just doesn't go away. Am completely on edge, wired out and having issues not disassociating still. I'm really trying tonight to calm myself and be logical and do things that are meant to help. These things aren't working right now, so what the hell am I meant to do?
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Call a crisis hotline, maybe a voice on the other end can be a better way to get your zen back to the center?

    Sorry it happened.
     
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks, am having difficulty speaking. Thanks for responding.
     
  4. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I'm very sorry to hear of this happening to you. I hope that you can find some comfort soon. Please be okay.
     
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I hope so too, thanks misterb.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    PM me if you need to talk hun, sorry for what you have been through :hugs:
     
  7. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks petal. I'm not one to talk and that's some of the issue with me.
     
  8. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    PTSD is a difficult thing - and by the description that is the issue. I think part of the "secret" to dealing with PTSD is to remember it is in fact the PTSD that is the problem, not you. You are not broken and you are not having a hard time dealing with the events of earlier and being scared. The PTSD is causing problems and you are stuck trying to fix it. I know this may sound stupid and like the same thing, but to me it made a big difference when I finally accepted it was not me that was the issue so I could stop beating myself up about it. The disorder causes you to be hyper vigilant and kicks your adrenaline into overdrive(sometimes for several hours like tonight apparently) but it is not your fault or your choice. The plain truth is some of the effects make you safer and "better" than somebody else- it is ultimately a lifesaving / life preservation response - just it is in overdrive.

    So far as never getting better- I have no answer. While for 5 years it was a near constant thing for me after getting out of the military, by 10 years I really thought nothing about it and it wasn't an issue at all. Then a few months ago the nightmares started again, for no apparent reason. I can't say for certain it "gets better" , but i can say for certain I got better at dealing with the issue. I treat it like an obnoxious close relative, I can't get away from it totally, but I am not really responsible for its actions. All I can do is learn how to handle it to try to keep it from embarrassing me or making life too difficult (just like that obnoxious relative). Please do not blame yourself for reactions caused by it, or think you are broken because it is with you. It is making life harder for you, but it is not you doing it. It may or may not ever go away completely but you will get better over time at dealing with it. Some days it is not as bad as others I would guess even now. AS more times passes the "not as bad" become more and more frequent, and the bad days much rarer. Eventually th ebad days can become the oddity.

    I hope tomorrow is better for you :hug:
     
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks nyjmp for your thoughtful response. I'm having a lot of difficulty today so I'll try and answer later when I can reread and form a coherent response.
     
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