Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by eversaige99, Jul 26, 2009.

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  1. eversaige99

    eversaige99 New Member

    I don't know if I'm posting this in the right category. I don't know this place very well yet. I'm still really new. But I thought I'd just jump in start typing.

    I tried to kill myself last night and again a month ago. I'm so tired of the emotional pain. No one around me (in my life) understands me. I have been dx with psychotic disorder because I hear and see things that are not there. The voices are constantly telling me to kill myself. So I have myself feeling like I need to die because I'm in so much emotional pain and then I have the voices telling me how and when to kill myself.

    Last night I took 24 sleeping pills. I woke up feeling drugged but otherwise fine. That was how it was last month. I woke up just fine...if a little drugged.

    My soon-to-be ex thinks that I rely on him too much but really I keep trying to push him away and every time I have it just the way I can handle it he comes marching back into my life and messing everything up. He asked me to go to the movies with him and then to dinner the other day. After we watched the movie he decided he didn't want dinner that night and said we could have dinner the next day. When the next day came he stood me up. And ignored my phone calls. Then told me that his friends were more important to him than I was to him.

    My family isn't talking to me. I have no friends because I've isolated myself so much for the past 3 years that they have all moved on.

    I have nothing to live for. NOTHING.

    I a huge (unfunny) joke.

  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i dont think your a joke. it sounds serious. people here are really nice so if you ever need to talk to someone you can pm them. there a buddys for forum and chat who are here to help those new to the site and they will be happy to help. also im on and off here all day so you can pm me. :)
  3. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    :hug: i'm sorry things are going so badly right now - but they can get better
    please stick around, talk to us, we might be able to help :heart:
    triggs xx
  4. eversaige99

    eversaige99 New Member

    Thanks Triggs and Necrodude
  5. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    hey its ok. call me rob :)
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello,I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low.

    If you've taken pills,please get to a hospital and get checked out.
    Even if you feel fine, you may have damaged your organs :unsure:

    lots of :hug: for you!
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