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im not sure if i want to end my life or not. i have nothing good going on and find myself feeling worse and worse everyday. i have friends, or even people in my life that i talk to . not friends. i have no one who i can tell these feelings too. the friends i do have are fake. they say nasty things about me and then tell me its all in my head and im going insane. this doesnt help. its even started happenin at the place were i work because everyone knows each other. i want to cause myself harm so people know they are hurting me. but then i dont want to be seen as an attention seeker because thats not what i feel i am, i think it would be easier to die. but even though my family arnt people i talk to much i still dont want to burden them with my death, im 18 years old and confused about what to do. i sometimes find myself to be crying completly out of the blue. i think about suicide all the time, plan it out and think of methods, can anyone help?

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi you i don't think you want to die hun you want peace you want to feel happy again. You are 18 so time to reach out is now hun to a doctor a pdoc someone to get you on medication to get you therapy so you can start feeling better I hope you continue to reach out here too okay pm me anytime hun hugs
i feel stuck, the people i find myself socialising with are the ones that add to my problems make me feel awful but thats probably my fault. but i feel there better than having no one. eventhough not one of them i can speak to. my family have no knowledge of my problems im talented at fake smiles.and i dont know if they would even take me seriously and i feel like im dumping my problems onto someone else. sometimes i think i should just leave and try start again but feel like my problems will just catch up with me anyway as i have paranoia too. just want an easy option...but there isnt one except the obvious. thankyou for the reply.
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As someone much older than you, I can say that you have a greater chance of improving things for yourself. The world has changed so much over the decades. See a therapist. If you've never been, be prepared to open up 100% to someone who wants to hear it, and wants to help. Your first session will likely be just you talking so that he/she gets to know you. But even that can help a little until your next session. It's tough. Shop around and get some references from your doctor.

Why am I, someone also in need, offering advice? I care about people, and what hasn't worked for me, may work for you. And you're too damn young to hang it up!
im embarresed about some things in my life and i dont see that a therapist will get rid of that. i wish i could go back a few years and stop all this. but i make it worse for myself. i feel like everyone is talking about me.... but i think i know thats true. i just cant see into the future that things will get better. but i do hope that they do for you also.


Well-Known Member
The friends around you - or associates - actually have issues themselves - IF they say nasty things about you. But - this is often people scared of mental issues like depression.

Hey -its normal to feel this way sometimes - everyone feels down - but you cannot keep it to yourself and you are brave for speaking out here.

18 - you are so young - but I remember being 18 with depression and being scared sometimes - even though I'm a man. Its ok to feel scared - but not ok to let it rule your life!!

So now you have come out and been brave with us - you need to do the same - maybe with parents or anyone in the family you feel close to.

I'm 46 - 30 years of depression I can say to anyone here - almost anyone - that I have BEEN were you are - but I never tried to kill myself - and not because I'm strong or special - I'm just me.

But I think a lot of me - not because I'm great - or amazingly handsome. I have no money - which is great because people who want me for money avoid me - not that they would get close anyhow!

Part of depression is self image and confidence - so although my life - -on paper - does not amount to much - I think God worships the ground I walk on.

And the same goes for everyone.

We are all beautiful in our way - for men - we ARE the walking dude - the party NEEDS us - we are soooo cool.

For women - your even better than men!

Age 18 - you got a LOT to live for honey.

Right now - its the time you will look back at one day - and know you learnt something from this. Bad as it seems - I bet you come out of this a more caring person.

We learn to walk by falling.

We learn to live - the same way - but we fall the same - and either get up and carry on - or maybe forget how to walk.

So - my best wishes - sorry to see you so down but am happy you got the courage to say what you feel to us.

I'm sure you will be just fine - its not easy being 18 - but don't be like and deal with it yourself! Do talk to someone.

I never spoke to a soul till this year.

So - I know its hard to keep it in and pretend.

Actually silly also - I mean waiting 30 years to say your depressed - its an issue in itself! Wow - I'm so dumb - but - sttill pretty cool for keeping it up I guess?

Leave suicide for politicians, lawyers and others who may have morally justifiable reasons to pop their cork.

We - need to live.

We're the good people who care.

The world NEEDS us.

For sure.
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