Until then

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jill, Feb 12, 2007.

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  1. Jill

    Jill Well-Known Member

    I knew what I was doing last night when I carved I hate you in my leg I thought it would help relieve some of the pain I am feeling. But it did not. Just made it worse. I am basically ready to go I am tired of fighting and I am tired of trying to feel better. If I saw a point to keep on fighting then maybe I could feel something besides pain. I just feel so hopeless right now.
     
  2. Jill

    Jill Well-Known Member

    I remember the pain as a child
    Always running always hiding
    I remember the pain of today
    And I know that I don't want to stay
    It's time for me to say goodbye
    To stop all the pain that I feel inside
    It's time that I wake up and realize
    That nothing will change in this life
    I could keep pretending that I am okay
    Just so they don't lock me away
    I could cut my way to feeling better
    And hope that in the end it will matter
    This time it's gone to far
    It's never over never gone
    I will once again wake up to see
    That nothing will ever change inside of me
    It's time to say to everyone in my life
    To kiss my ass and say goodbye
    It's been a real trial and I've failed the test
    And now it's time to put my heart to rest
    The pain is to much for me to take
    I want to die and never wake
     
  3. delicateshadow

    delicateshadow Antiquitie's Friend

    I hear you. I am in a similar place to you right now. perhaps we can 'sit together' through this?
     
  4. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Jill you are so expressive and i relate to a lot of what youve written too.i think aobut you often.Still remember the talk we had in chat.im sorry that i cant do mroe to ease your pain than just be here for you but i will very much try at least to do that and please keep posting and feel free to PM [private message] me anytime if it helps too!!!Just do waht helps you and know we are hearing you.i know it is hard.i know it is tough.And that you are tired but please dont give up.
     
  5. Jill

    Jill Well-Known Member

    Thanks I am trying to hang on but it is getting really tough. To tired to keep trying and to hurt to care.
     
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