Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by frypan367, Aug 24, 2014.

  1. frypan367

    frypan367 Well-Known Member

    I dont enjoy anything anymore. I cant take walks outside becasue im alone. and people stare at me people laugh at me. Thats why I wear earphones and listen to music, to drown them out. Too many people. Too many thoughts I think I cna read. Its easy saying that no one can read minds, but why am i right about them so often?

    Its supposed to get better but its been 8 years , and nothing has gotten better. I'm never going to have friends. Im never going to be loved by anyone. Im never going to achieve anything.

    I hate this life, because it isnt a life. The images, the thoughts wont stop. This isn't a temporary problem, its a permanent disease that was given to me. Its a permanent disease with only one solution/. When the last pillar falls ( and it no doubt will soon at this rate), it will bring me down with it.

    I cannot talk to people online anymore. I no longer have the energy to entertain conversation and pretend that im ok. I do enough of it in real life and its exasperating. I'm boring, im not positive and i'm stupid , and i have nothing in common with most people. Thats why i often dont bother speaking. Im tired of hearing your supposed thoughts about me or thinking about what you might say. But for some reason im scared of being alone.
  2. beth123

    beth123 New Member

    I wish I could tell you something positive! The reality is, that I'm in the same boat as you. The only thing we have to do is keep on going on. For me it hasn't been 8 years, it's only been 2. I understand how you feel! It's horrible isn't it.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I know how you feel. Feeling pretty alone myself right now-but perhaps that is my own fault for not interacting as much as I should be. At least you can talk here and let it all out, if you feel up to talking message me :)