Depression is a tyrannic ruler. I should know, it has ruled most of my life. At the minute its hold on me is so strong I struggle to even breathe. It is always with me, waiting in ambush for the first sign of weakness... Truth is: it has always been. I have been told that I chose to be unhappy. That I was needy. That I was weak... I have been given all those shitty advices such as get a hold of yourself, try and exercice... Bull, if I could do those things I would. People see what they want. It's easy to think "she needs time to herself" when in fact they just don't want the discomfort of dealing with you. I am scared all the time, I am terrified all the time, I hurt all the time. I am not the only one, I know that. No need to tell me. I know I will get through it. I have done it before and I will do it again. But right now I want to scream and cry and scream some more. The pain and the fear are taking over my mind, my sanity and my soul.