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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by spidy, Oct 21, 2009.

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  1. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I want to attempt again and i dont as i dont want to fail again and end bck in hosp.After constent thinking and lots of pacing in circles i think the best thing i can do is stay out of everyones way.Been staying at my exs last couple of nghts but feel like a burden same as when i stayed at my sisters.And i appologise for dribbling crap on here too.I m just so fcking lost and screwed up in the head.Couldnt even bring myself to go into shops today and paniced the whole drive there and bck.I have nobody i can talk too as every idiot just says get over it(believe me if i could i would)meds dont seem to be doing sht for me anymore and to be honest i cant even be bothered helping myself.Ive tried to get up in the morning and be happy but cause my head is fcked and keeps negativity rolling over all the time its impossable.I have couple more nghts staying here then bck on the street again.All in all im just gunna vanish so im not hassling anyone again as i m just not a ball of fun to be around no good putting tht burden on ppl i think its the best thing.I find it very hard to be around ppl anyway got used to being alone less complicated and once again sorry for dribbling crap on here.I feel i should hve just kept all to myself as i dont like telling ppl my probs.Anyway i dont know if the next time i try will work or i just make an arse of myself again.Funny cant even get killing myself rght thts sad.
     
  2. Pilko

    Pilko Active Member

    Hi Spidy
    Stay on here..you are worth too much to make the choice to end it all Do you have any support to assist you in getting somewhere to stay?. It's so hard when you are in a blackhole. I go there too all he time, but please stay.
     
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey spidy,
    Have you checked into shelters or hostils in your area?? At least you would have a roof over your head and food in your belly..In the mean time you can check about getting public assistance..You are always welcome here to talk or just to vent your frustrations..Have you been looking for work?? Having a job will help lift your self esteem..If you are unable to work then check about getting SSI..There are always options you just need to sit down and write out a list of things you need to do..Go down the list and keep trying..I wish all the best for you...
     
  5. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    hey spidy. keep talking to us here sweet. probably your first thing is to try a shelter or something so that you are not on the street :hug: i don't know what country you are in or else i would try to help better :hug:
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey glad you reached out for support to vent it is good to do that. Contact crisis team or mental health organization in your community to see what helpis available to you. There might be a crisis house you can stay at until you get some rooming or a job
     
  7. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    thnx guys but there is bugger all here for men.I was renting earlier in the year but couldnt afford rent now im black listed for 5 years.As far as getting another job i cant handle being around ppl at moment and have no concentration is why lost my last job was just scared of hurting someone as i zone out too much.I really aint tht worried sleeping in me car as i can find peacful spots to park.I know i need help but i seem to be good at pushing it away hate being a burden on ppl feel tht i m just a pain in the arse and a waste of resources.I thnk just staying out of everones way best option just need to stop thnking all the time because dont have good thghts.
     
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