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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by nonethelessjaclyn, Nov 6, 2010.

  1. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    i'm feeling really down right now. So much is going on. I just feel like running away.
    ever since my sister moved in with her boyfriend everything went downhill.
    it was just my mom and me but then my cousin destiny moved in. she moved in with her boyfriend but a few months later moved back in with us because her boyfriend was abusive. i just wish she would have believed us when we told her before she moved out.
    then destiny decided that she needed her best friend page to move in. my mom was fine with it so then there were 4 people living in this small house.
    then, right after summer, my cousin ben gets in a fight with his girlfriend because he got two dui's and moved in with us. now every other week we have a screaming baby to deal with.
    i don't know what i hate more, the fact that i'm the most mature person in the house or that i have to babysit everyone. i'm just frustrated because with a shitty home life, school is going downhill. i'm close to failing two classes so my boyfriend is trying to help me out so i can do well.
    i'm just worried about him because he's a recovering addict. i'm so afraid that he's going to go back to the way things were.
    and on top of all the drama, my mom is a hypocrite.
    i myself hate partying and drinking and drugs. i just can't stand it. my mom agrees with me, but she lets page and destiny smoke pot in the house and go out and get trunk every weekend. she also lets ben go out and drink with his friends and leaves me to babysit his son. my mom always says that it's total bullshit yet she does absolutly nothing to stop them.
    i'm sick of only being 17 and having to babysit two 19 year olds, a 2 year old, a 24 year old, do extracredt in hopes to graduate high school, do chores that nobody but me seems to do, help my boyfriend with his problems, and try to stay alive while all these thoughts of suicide and cutting drown my thoughts.
    i honestly don't know how much i can take of this. i can't stand people and living with so many dumb as fuck people is driving my sanity away.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It must be so hard to be surrounded by those ppl and be the one with her head on...make sure you get out and have fun because you know they will be there when you get back...and do not feel so responsible for them...you need to focus on yourself...J
     
  3. nonethelessjaclyn

    nonethelessjaclyn Well-Known Member

    i do have fun, but not often enough.
    i am responsible for them. if they do something wrong, i get all the blame for letting them get in trouble..