Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by FrainBart, Oct 3, 2012.

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  1. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    Written with a lot of things on my mind, bit naff, just... well...

    I wish I knew what to say
    or even what to do
    no matter how hard i search
    its never right for you
    I hoped that it could work
    and pushed myself on through
    but everything is fading now
    can't you see it too?

    I promised I would try
    and fought on with my best
    facing all your trials,
    passing all your tests
    I begged your forgiveness
    well and truly messed
    mind and body tattered
    from where you pushed and pressed

    I prayed to find the end
    my battered hope in tow
    never even realised
    that you could stoop so low
    I failed my innocence
    swaying to and fro
    waiting for the moment
    to fly and let......
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I love how it rhymes and I can totally relate to it...very deep and sad too...

    my fav part:

    I failed my innocence
    swaying to and fro
    waiting for the moment
    to fly and let......

    I really liked the ending
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is very well written V and very expressive, I wish I had words to match the emotions you must be feeling but need to settle for thinking and hoping it gets better in one way or another for you :hug:
  4. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    Oh wow person this is really good :hug:
  5. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    Thank you morning rush, admittedly that's the part I least like because, I just didn't know how to finish it, it doesn't flow the same way in my head :unsure:

    I wish I could find words to match what I was feeling as well NYJ, seems the best way I can ever truly express myself is in my poems, and even then its not always written with what I try to say. :hug: Thank you.

    :hug: thank you midnight :hug:
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you write with emotion your words connect to feelings i can relate too so clearly
    the struggles the despair the feeling of hopelessness
    You words say so much hun
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    All I can say, is from what I know of you, he does not deserve you...and so glad we do...much caring
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