I'm feeling marginally, just marginally better now, and I can find the will to tell you all how I feel. Though words can't truly describe my misery and loneliness. As my previous thread was deleted on my request, I must reiterate what I had said before: I've never had a friend in my life, though I've had plenty of enemies, my family do not care for me in the slightest and haven't checked on me since I told them I would commit suicide soon. I've never had a real conversation with another person, I spend ALL of my time alone as I dropped out of school years ago, I have terrible nightmares and the most debauched visions imaginable, I was bullied terribly as a younger kid and am now zealous and hateful, I've never been touched and am borderline allergic to physical contact now... I could go much further, but you get the idea. Everything in life seems utterly pointless to me, and I don't know why I continue. I'll generally be on the brink of suicide 4-5 times per day before I knock myself out of it. Truth be told, I'm not afraid of death anymore and unless things improve I will end my own life. The physical pain often associated with suicide is nothing to me, for I know true suffering.