Untold Anguish

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NeverHappy, Jul 31, 2008.

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  1. NeverHappy

    NeverHappy Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling marginally, just marginally better now, and I can find the will to tell you all how I feel. Though words can't truly describe my misery and loneliness.

    As my previous thread was deleted on my request, I must reiterate what I had said before: I've never had a friend in my life, though I've had plenty of enemies, my family do not care for me in the slightest and haven't checked on me since I told them I would commit suicide soon. I've never had a real conversation with another person, I spend ALL of my time alone as I dropped out of school years ago, I have terrible nightmares and the most debauched visions imaginable, I was bullied terribly as a younger kid and am now zealous and hateful, I've never been touched and am borderline allergic to physical contact now...

    I could go much further, but you get the idea. Everything in life seems utterly pointless to me, and I don't know why I continue. I'll generally be on the brink of suicide 4-5 times per day before I knock myself out of it. Truth be told, I'm not afraid of death anymore and unless things improve I will end my own life. The physical pain often associated with suicide is nothing to me, for I know true suffering.
  2. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you are feeling slightly better. Thats a good start hun.
    Sorry to hear all you've been thru. I understand about the nightmares and visions, i too suffer terribly from them.
    I can be your friend. Admittedly i might only be online but i'm always around to talk to and i'd like to help you and be your friend.
    I am here for you hun.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Neverhappy,
    I have no friends either. So I joined this forum and found some boy was I surprised. By the way Welcome To The Forum!! I think once you are on it for a while you will make friends on line.
    Because of my illness I very seldom leave my bedroom. Being on the forum and working with my therapist, and combination of the meds I maintain. My suicidal thoughts are with me all the time, but I decided to give life another chance.
    You need to explore every road to depression and hopefully you will find some where you have positive thoughts that you can build from. Are you in therapy? If not you might want to find one. They can get alot out of you and help you to learn how to cope with your thoughts. They also can get you to quit discounting the positives. You can use them as ammo for when you have a negative thought. I hope to see you around the forum because you deserve to live. Take Care....
  4. SullenGirl187

    SullenGirl187 Member

    You are suffering from lack of love. Love is what nourishes the soul. When a person has never had it, they wither aways and die as you are. You need to let yourself be loved by someone. And in order for that to happen you need to believe that you are lovable.
  5. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I agree but it's hard in a world like this where human beings often tend to be selfish and deceptive. Hence why not many people will open their hearts up.
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