So, I just thought I would say hi here and introduce myself. I'm a 31 year old woman who has had an eventful past year and things are just catching up with me, emotionally. I do need help, I just don't know where to turn. Usually, I'm happy, cheerful and bubbly, maybe even to the point of being a negative. I seem to have alienated all my friends. On top of that, I'm basically homeless, having to crash on a friends couch. She has mental health issues as well. She regularly cuts herself. I tried cutting, once, and while I don't like the scaring, part of me wants to start again. However, my prefered method of self-harm seems to be starvation. I haven't eaten anything for 24 hours; I'm hungry but I have no desire to eat. A few weeks ago, I took thirty pills at a behavioral health center, right in front of a security guard..... and he just guessed that I didn't take enough to hurt myself. The only reason I'm still alive is that the weather was too hot for me to pass out, so I hobbled over to a hospital. Last night, I had another breakdown. I left the apartment, fully intending to go to Wal Mart and buy a package of sleeping pills, take them and then find a quiet corner to drift away to sleep in. A friend was able to talk me down, but, now my friendships feel "tainted." it's like, I don't think anyone really "cares" about me as much as they pity me or they feel responsible for me or something like that. Like they only pretend to care because they don't want to watch me kill myself, but they would react the exact same way if a complete stranger told them she was going to kill herself. I feel so alone and abandoned. As far as family goes, I have none to speak of. They live here in town, but none want to see me or talk to me. My dad doesn't care if I live or die; my grandmother is trying to dodge me by not answering the door/phone if it's me. my mom is reacting to me better than anyone, but she can barely look at me. Anyway, I can only start listing my issues here, but, like I said, intro.