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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by TaraJo, Jul 14, 2009.

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  1. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    So, I just thought I would say hi here and introduce myself.

    I'm a 31 year old woman who has had an eventful past year and things are just catching up with me, emotionally.

    I do need help, I just don't know where to turn.

    Usually, I'm happy, cheerful and bubbly, maybe even to the point of being a negative.

    I seem to have alienated all my friends. On top of that, I'm basically homeless, having to crash on a friends couch.

    She has mental health issues as well. She regularly cuts herself. I tried cutting, once, and while I don't like the scaring, part of me wants to start again. However, my prefered method of self-harm seems to be starvation. I haven't eaten anything for 24 hours; I'm hungry but I have no desire to eat.

    A few weeks ago, I took thirty pills at a behavioral health center, right in front of a security guard..... and he just guessed that I didn't take enough to hurt myself. The only reason I'm still alive is that the weather was too hot for me to pass out, so I hobbled over to a hospital.

    Last night, I had another breakdown. I left the apartment, fully intending to go to Wal Mart and buy a package of sleeping pills, take them and then find a quiet corner to drift away to sleep in. A friend was able to talk me down, but, now my friendships feel "tainted." it's like, I don't think anyone really "cares" about me as much as they pity me or they feel responsible for me or something like that. Like they only pretend to care because they don't want to watch me kill myself, but they would react the exact same way if a complete stranger told them she was going to kill herself. I feel so alone and abandoned.

    As far as family goes, I have none to speak of. They live here in town, but none want to see me or talk to me. My dad doesn't care if I live or die; my grandmother is trying to dodge me by not answering the door/phone if it's me. my mom is reacting to me better than anyone, but she can barely look at me.

    Anyway, I can only start listing my issues here, but, like I said, intro.
  2. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum. One of the things sf has done for me is to make me realize I am not alone. I've met some great people here who have helped immensely, infact without them I doubt if I would still be alive. Hope you can find the same. Best wishes. S.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome TaraJo glad you came here lots of people in the same position and lots of people who truly care. Have you tried getting councilling Glad your here
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf tarajo :arms:
  5. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Hi and welcome to the forum.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I am glad you are reaching out for help. :hug:
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    WElcome to the forums, hope you find what you need here.
  8. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    Thanks, all. It's nice to feel welcomed.

    Still, I need to be surrounded with people who know me and care about me. I'm sure you're all nice, but truth is, you aren't here and I do feel alone right now.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Tarajo!! I'm sure you will make friends here.. I have and I have carried a couple outside of the forum into real life..The members here are very supportive..
  10. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    Maybe; I dunno; lately, it feels like anyone who actually gets to know me winds up hating me. How can such a person as that make friends?
  11. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    :hug: welcome to SF. I hope you find the support and help you want and need here.
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Tarajo,
    You just need to take babysteps..One PM at a time.. You will soon find that people here on the forum relate to you more than you know..You have taken the first step by coming here.. Don't be afraid to jump right in and post here or just reply to others in need.. People will naturally be drawn towards you.. It can be a real self esteem lifter just talking to us..Take care...
  13. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF TaraJo.

    :hug: xx
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