unwilling... anyone??

[ealdc]

Is it normal to be so depressed that you are just unwilling to do what it takes to get better.

I went into the thread about "coping" but once I got in I thought, "who cares?" My mom tells me, "go out and get a job and your self-esteem will get better" but I just don't want to. I do want to get better, so i started seeing a therapist and my doctor has put me on medication, but that's all i'm willing to do for myself.

I have 3 close friends, all girls, and they are all in serious, committed relationships. I have wanted that more than any of them! I remember us all talking in highschool about when we move on with our lives and I was the one who most wanted a serious, committed relationship. They all either wanted to play the field or focus on studying. And now, 3 years later, I'm alone and they're all to busy with their boyfriends to hang out, which is actually fine by me because i don't want to leave my bedroom, let alone my house.

Anyways, if I so desperately want a boyfriend, why can i not find it in myself to go out and get a job or become more social to find one. It's MY FAULT i don't have one. Who am i gonna meet in my house!?

And yet, I am unwilling...

Does anyone else suffer from this along with their depression??

 

[Wiseman]

Depression grips one's soul and chains it in self-misery
Only you can break the chains that bind you down
But to break free you must break out of the coffin you call your house and bask in the sun
for it in it's splendid freedom shines!

Try your hardest and you're sure to succeed.

 

[am I alive]

I know how you feel, i'm in a somewhat same situation. I'm so much depressed that i'm unwiling to change anything in my life. I know i can make my life better only if i get out of my room, but i just can't, i'm used to be alone. It seems like i just can't live normal life, just like i'm not able to be happy:unsure:
I know didn't help much...if you want to talk i'm here

 

[ealdc]

i know what i must do. one day i will do it becuase, thank goodness, suicide is no longer an option for me (i hope). The feeling has passed and i actually feel a bit better. i just hope i find myself wanting to finally go out and find a life before i am forced to.

thanks for the support. it is all very much appreciated.

 

[lymeinside]

I know the feeling all too well. Depression is very cruel: when you are at your worst, you just don't have the will to do things to fight it. I want more than anything to have a relationship, yet I do almost nothing towards that end. It's like I have absolutely no self motiviation at all.