update

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by _Lily_, Apr 25, 2014.

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  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    A few days ago i posted on in the suicide forum that i wanted to hurt other people as well as myself
    i got help and was in a crisis house last night
    none of my family know about only my husband knows
    i am keeping this from my family as i dont want my mum calling me an attention seeker because i got help
    plus i dont think my mum would care any way
    my sister wouldn't understand either so we got to keep it from them
    last night if my mum phoned my husband would have told her am in bed its ok for one night but not anymore nights
    My husband is worried about me am ok as long as he is here with me
    if he wasn't here or if anything was to happen to him that would be me finished id kill myself if he dies

    i could hurt other people the voices and thoughts make me think that am going to i have to keep myself from doing it
    i feel so tired at the moment i didn't get much sleep last night because i was away from my husband .
    feel like i need to cut but am on 10 weeks without cutting and i want to get to a few months without doing it
    its the longest av gone apart from a few years ago where i stopped for 7 months i want to beat that
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i hope you do h un beat that and more ok I hope you are getting the voices look after with medicaiton No one need to know about your health except you and your doctor and hsb if you chose hope you stay well ok hugs
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're definitely doing the right thing by getting help!! :hug:
     
  4. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    really triggered with my voices there telling me to cut my wrists i was fine for most of today as well
    went for a nice walk with my husband had dinner and watched a film
    my psych wants me off one of my anti psychotics Am on two at the moment and an anti depressant and anti anxiety

    No matter what i think about it he is still going to get me off it
    i see him in june the 1st i cant get another appointment with him unless someone cancels but its unlikely to happen
    i want to OD my husband locks everything away i have no access to money or the medication so am safe
    i dont blame my husband he just trying to look after me he loves me and i love him too
    I just dont want to hurt him i see a knife in the kitchen with my husband there and they tell me to kill him
    id rather kill myself first so thats what i have to do no one is taking me seriously
    maybe they think am playing a fucking game or something
    I AM NOT PLAYING GAMES

    The voices are real they will make me hurt him
    they win they always win
     
  5. bck

    bck Active Member

    I know the voices are real. I deal with a lot of similar things. You are doing the right thing. You are a stronger and better person than I am. You are getting help. That is amazing
     
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