Tw:si & suicide It's been a while since I've been on here. I've come on here a few times but haven't had the energy to post anything. So this will be short. I overdosed (not sure if I'm allowed to say that) on the 31st of May, woke up the next day, went to school, and almost collapsed many, many times. I couldn't concentrate. I was angry with myself as I didn't take as much as I could, since it would be obvious if a whole packet was missing. I wrote a note, and shredded it a week later and threw it out. I told my therapist and my doctor, and they were going to put me in a mental hospital. I didn't want to go because it would cost too much. They put me on medication and it worked very well for a couple of weeks. I haven't told anyone else about my attempt. I haven't attempted since, but I sure have had the very strong urge to. After about 6 weeks on the medication I relapsed and self harmed. I managed to stop after a few days, but the urge comes back every single day. I have told my therapist that I have had urges about self harm, but haven't seen her yet to tell her about my relapse. The medication usually works, but whenever I am upset, they don't work very well. I mean, I would get upset over things that aren't my fault, and be upset about it for days. And I would feel suicidal over little things. I am very happy when there is nothing to be upset about, and I am sleeping better. My mum just keeps threatening to take me off them and that they are making me a different person and that I don't actually have depression, etc etc. I feel like I am going to die soon. I can't explain it, but I just have this feeling. And I'm fine with it. I feel really suicidal right now, and I know I should go to the hospital since I am on medication and I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I don't want to tell anyone. I know how hurt some people will be if I do act on my thoughts, but they seriously don't affect me anymore. I hate this. Sorry to rant. There is no one to talk to, and I don't know when I'm seeing my therapist. She thinks I'm getting better. If I text or call her my mum will see it on my phone bill. My therapist never answers her emails either. I'm sorry I'm talking I'm about all of this, you don't need to reply.