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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Nov 5, 2010.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I don't think I have ever met a Dr who has made me want to self harm. the story is...

    If you have read my last posts or were on here last week then basically I cut my leg and thought there was something in the wound as wasn't healing. It still wasn't getting any better so I went to my GP. She basically said that there was nothing they could do from their side as would need an x-ray. She could book me in for one but being as though wasn't healing and risk of infection I would have to go to A+E as of the time it would take etc. So I went to A+E. At first the Dr was really nice to me and making jokes etc. I went for the x-ray and it showed that there were 2 parts in there. He then got quite short with me. He said he would have a go at taking them out himself (as is usual protocol) but before he did it he said along the lines of you may have to have an operation and we will put you to sleep. He injected me with local which hurt more than the wound itself. He had a bit of a dig around but not much and gave up. He was really off with me saying I could lose my leg, I could get a bad infection and that I needed to go to another hospital to have an operation. He got on the phone and told them I was on my way there.

    I nipped home as was on the way expecting to be in over night at least thinking I was going to be having a general and that I would be cut open. The doc in A+E was saying how it could be a few hours the operation and risks that could bleed out and have to have transfusion and that I could end up with a wound rather than about 3cm long as was but about 20cm long if they couldn't find it. So he sent me on my way to drive myself to the other hospital on the other side of town. I was proper freaking and near panic attack, stupidly wanting more to SI than did before as he had got me in such a state.

    So I arrive at the hospital and came to terms with the fact that I was going to be operated on. After waiting on the ward for a while 2 plastic surgeons came to see me. They examined my x-ray and asked what had been done so far and just asked loads of questions. They explained to me that IF I needed a operation it would be tomorrow as theatres were busy, but they said I could go home in the mean time if that was the case. So he had a look at the x-ray and said he would like to have a go at trying to get them out, if he couldn't do that then I would be taken down to theatre and they would try again using the live x-ray machine. If that didn't work then I would need to be put under and cut open the next day... they couldn't have done it tonight as needed a whole bunch of other people if putting me to sleep was going to happen.So basically he gave me 2 more attempts before what I thought was a certain was going to happen. He spent about 30 minutes having a poke around and actually managed to get the pieces out. No operation needed!

    It took him a while but he managed it. I feel that the Doc at A+E didn't really give it a good enough go and gave up too quickly. I know they have targets and stuff in A+E but I do feel that he treated me like crap. If it hadn't have been self harm and I know i will be using them again in the future as I know I will self harm again I would consider making a complaint. But then on the other hand I think if it hadn;t have been self harm then he may have had more time for me. That's the reason I usually get wasted before going to hospital as I really can't deal with people like him.

    The thing is, even though self harm got me in to this situation I still want to do it. Grrrrrr!
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    wow what a stressful day you've had. sending you a big hug, if okay. hang in there. you'll stop self-harming when you are ready. any word from the self-harm network?
  3. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    That's awful, you poor thing. I hope you're feeling a bit better now, although I bet you're exhausted after all that.

    Sadly, I have a feeling that the doctor treated you so badly because it was self-inflicted. But that's really no excuse. I accept that he can think whatever he likes in his head, but he shouldn't let it affect his behaviour. Very unprofessional. I'd advise you to complain, but that might be more stress and hassle than it's worth. I'm just sorry this all happened.

  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I'm not going to complain...if it wasn't self inflicted and if I didn't make regular trips to the A+E dept then I would.

    I'm ok, just that I got really wound up thinking I was going to have to have an operation under general and I had no one to talk to about it as no one knows I self harm. So I didn't have any support. I went to the GP just expecting to be given some antibiotics, not the whole 6 hour episode of going to A+E and then another hospital. I went to my GP at 3...got home just after 9. So quite frustrated about all of that.

    I feel like I need to DSH again. It's weird how the urges come on. I felt like it this morning but the whole debacle if today has just made it worse!

    The surgeon made me laugh though... he said I should think about having it re-opened and having the wound re stitched again for cosmestic reasons...I asked him if he was blind and would any surgeon really consider doing that when my legs were in the state they were? I think I left him speechless! Also... he didn't have an paper on him so he wrote everything down on his scrubs. I offered him some paper but no, he just wrote on his legs...weird guy!
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