Uphill battle

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Fishman, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    I want to get better, I've been depressed for so long its hard to know what it feels like to not be like that. Its hard to look back and hard to suffer with anxiety.

    I hate people that say life is what you make it, life is random chance. What about the person who gets killed by a speeding car..or damaged to the point they are housebound for life, or the person that brutally assaulted or teased and has had their self-esteem shattered Or stressed to the point the break.

    I believe in looking at things realistically, I believe its cruel to give people false hopes, my life hasn't been very fun for a long time but I'm hanging on and have been..if just barely. There are many things I wish didn't happen but oh well.

    One of the major things eating away at me is not being able to find someone, the other is coping with the past and dealing with my thoughts. Also although depression is never easy I believe it is easier to deal with the older you are when it starts...so how does one deal with major long term depression that started when they where young?

    I hope people can offer some proper advice.
  2. galalleni

    galalleni Well-Known Member


    Just wanted to let you know - it's an uphill battle, yes. Have you ever heard the saying 'carpe diem' (seize the day), Everyday the world hits you with a ton of bricks, everyone seems to battle you on the most menial tasks no matter how small or insignificant - it's making it through the battle and standing proudly afterwards that should give you pride and honor - you can say to yourself, you've survived yet again. Hellen Keller once said, "it's not those who've made great publicity or fame that should be honored, it's those who have survived the ordinary strife and struggle that truely deserve our honor and respect."

    Fishman, I hope you realize no one hates or dislikes you for who you are. I myself have had trouble doing things others find simple (such as emptying the garbage, don't want people to watch me as I go about my daily tasks). Even writing here or talking with friends is a chore or task I can't even eat in public - people constantly judging me and making me feel embarrassed and belittled (not sure I am eating the right way). Each day I slowly do one more thing that makes me feel uncomfortable - it never goes away, but at least I'm no longer in a heap of garbage or malnourished because I can't eat, empty my garbage or shop for food.

    Why do we put ourselves through this battle each day? it is only for survival. I won't butter up life for you and tell you everything will be alright (it may or may not be, I don't know everything you've been through) - but you made a new friend today, that is one more thing than you've had before. PM or IM me any time, I;m am usually awake - ;unless they've taken me to the looney bin yet again. Keep your chin up and head straight. You may feel you don't have much reason for living - but I want to hear your story and commiserate on our times (think of it as drinking buddies) - cause, fuck, it's hard going it alone (just know you can count on me and a lot of the people here - cause for f*** sake, it ain't easy).