I want to get better, I've been depressed for so long its hard to know what it feels like to not be like that. Its hard to look back and hard to suffer with anxiety. I hate people that say life is what you make it, life is random chance. What about the person who gets killed by a speeding car..or damaged to the point they are housebound for life, or the person that brutally assaulted or teased and has had their self-esteem shattered Or stressed to the point the break. I believe in looking at things realistically, I believe its cruel to give people false hopes, my life hasn't been very fun for a long time but I'm hanging on and have been..if just barely. There are many things I wish didn't happen but oh well. One of the major things eating away at me is not being able to find someone, the other is coping with the past and dealing with my thoughts. Also although depression is never easy I believe it is easier to deal with the older you are when it starts...so how does one deal with major long term depression that started when they where young? I hope people can offer some proper advice.