I was wondering if what I feel is actually a problem or just normal teenage angst. I mean, I'll feel intensely suicidal for a couple hours, then it'll just vanish really suddenly and I'll feel fine. I'll cry randomly, too, but usually at home and not at school. It happened today, actually... My dad is major "get good grades" and is always pushing my siblings and me to be the best. I have a really high class rank and my dad is always telling me to get my grades up so I get into a good college. (He wants me to go to Stanford but I just play along so he won't yell at me...) But, I love drumming, which takes up a ton of time, and I went to this drumline audition that took up the majority of yesterday. So, while he's talking with me today, he kept telling me over and over that if I wanted to drum for a living, he would be fine with that (although he really wouldn't) and I should go to a state college (which in his eyes, would be the equivalent of disowning me). The same night of the auditions, my family had to go to a wedding and they had a bunch cake and candy (because it was Halloween and a wedding). Anyway, I got some candy, and my dad said that it was bad for me and I shouldn't eat it. I was like okay, whatever. Then, when I got some cake, he said for me not to eat too much of that either. I mean come on! It's a wedding. You're supposed to eat really fatty foods. He always acts really disappointed in me and all when I don't do what he says.... Anyway, after he left my room after the talk today, after the auditions and wedding, I was like sobbing (or at least trying not to...). I felt really jaded about life and tired of staying up all night for school. I barely have any friends anymore! I don't go out and I'm not enjoying life at the moment. I mean, I know that later on, if my life sucks and I don't get into a good college, and I get a sucky job, I'll blame it on my parents for not pushing me enough, so I don't know what to do! I'll be unhappy either way. Back to today, after a couple hours of just roaming on the web and reading suicide stuff, I felt a lot better. A friend called me (coincidentally, she doesn't really know I'm suicidal - no one does) and we chatted about holding a dance party later. My crush called and came over to my house to do some fundraiser stuff. I mean, after all that, which leads to now, I feel very good. That's why I'm able to write so much. Sorry if this is too narrative or something, but I always feel better when I write stuff to other people. Back to the original question, is me feeling suicidal or depressed (which happens a couple times a week, I don't really keep track) normal? Or should I be doing something?