upset/hurt

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tillymus, Oct 13, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. tillymus

    tillymus Member

    I am really upset/hurt right now.Its my birthday and its been a really bad one its also been a really bad week.
    I had to go to college today i didnt want to go i havent wanted to go all week because other people make it misrable for me and today i was picked on all day and i got in to a argument with the girl that was picking on me and her best friend heard the argument she wasnt happy with me before the argument happened she offered me a ride in to town so i could catch the bus home but after the argument she withdrew the offer leaving me stranded i was really gutted.I could understand if i started the argument but i didnt.
    not even 1 of my friends at college wished me happy birthday.
    Its not just today as i said at the beggining this whole week has been bad.
    at college there have been 3 days where i have been stranded outside college which i really hate i hate being stuck in a place by myself becuase of my nerves & anxiety.Iv just felt like giving up college sending lou (person in charge) a text and telling her im never going back to college.2 of the times including today when iv been stratnded i felt so low that iv felt suicidal.

    some days we have had to leave early becuase other people in the class have been messing around which spoils it for everyone else.
    Lou turned round and said to us today that if certain people in our class keep on messing around she is not going to bother showing up to teach anymore.

    i have come a long way since i last came on this site and college has really helpped me to build my confidence up but i just cant handle the stress and upset that iv been through this week.

    The next 4 weeks at college are going to be even harder as we are going to do a comunity project and then we get a work placement on week 3.

    I find it hard going out to new places i end up having a panic attack becuase i worry about so many things.

    life just seems one big mess and it keeps getting worse and i feel that my life is passing so fast i fear that im wasting my life but at the same time i fear the outside world i would be more happy staying at home forever living from home eating drinking working shopping and sleeping at home never having to face the outside world again.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Tilly, I know its hard but please stick with it.
    My son was experiencing the same difficulties at college and he did give it up.
    The result is that at 23 he hasn't been outside the house for 2 years.
    He has no life, no friends and if anything the panic has got worse.

    Is there anyone you can share your feelings with (perhaps a teacher or guidance counsellor)?
    Things will improve, this awful time will pass. Meanwhile if you need an ear just pm me.
     
  3. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'm 19, second year college student and all I do is commute there from home, go to class and study, no socializing, no friends, don't think I ever can, since I've been raised to be so messed up, I've turned out to be a very screwed up person, everyone else in college is enjoying it and doing all these great things except for me. :sad:
     
  4. tillymus

    tillymus Member

    After alot of thinking iv decided to stick to this course i need the course more then i thought.Its what helps me better myself and it also get me away from home and it will help me get a job and maybe a home.

    Things are not good at home i cant stand it at home anymore iv decided today that i am going to try and find a palce to stay no matter how long it takes.

    I might have to wait untill i get a job but when i do i can get money coming in then i can save up for a house in france.

    i could never afford a house in england as they are atleast 100k.

    Iv contacted lou from my college and asked her about the help i can get with housing becuase im unempolyed and in college i could get help with somewhere to live untill i get a job.

    at the moment my parents are arguing my mums taking things out on me she shouted at me today and said i start arguments when all i did was sit in the back of the car on the way to the D.I.Y store and i was listening to music and then she accused me of starting arguments its not just that my bedroom keeps flooding and i wake up in the moring and my joints ache where its so damp in this place.

    This college course has given me the confidence and strenth i need to go out in to the world and start my own life.Its not been easy and pushing myself to go on the course has been hard and there have been many times iv wanted to quit but i cant afford to quit if i do i wont get a job and i will be stuck living with my parents.

    i love my parents but i cant stand the arguments and upset in this home.
    i need peace in the home becuase i cant handle bad air it really messes with my head.

    If i dont sucseed in getting a job and a home and if things get worse at home i will end it but im not going out of this world without a fight.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.