I am really upset/hurt right now.Its my birthday and its been a really bad one its also been a really bad week. I had to go to college today i didnt want to go i havent wanted to go all week because other people make it misrable for me and today i was picked on all day and i got in to a argument with the girl that was picking on me and her best friend heard the argument she wasnt happy with me before the argument happened she offered me a ride in to town so i could catch the bus home but after the argument she withdrew the offer leaving me stranded i was really gutted.I could understand if i started the argument but i didnt. not even 1 of my friends at college wished me happy birthday. Its not just today as i said at the beggining this whole week has been bad. at college there have been 3 days where i have been stranded outside college which i really hate i hate being stuck in a place by myself becuase of my nerves & anxiety.Iv just felt like giving up college sending lou (person in charge) a text and telling her im never going back to college.2 of the times including today when iv been stratnded i felt so low that iv felt suicidal. some days we have had to leave early becuase other people in the class have been messing around which spoils it for everyone else. Lou turned round and said to us today that if certain people in our class keep on messing around she is not going to bother showing up to teach anymore. i have come a long way since i last came on this site and college has really helpped me to build my confidence up but i just cant handle the stress and upset that iv been through this week. The next 4 weeks at college are going to be even harder as we are going to do a comunity project and then we get a work placement on week 3. I find it hard going out to new places i end up having a panic attack becuase i worry about so many things. life just seems one big mess and it keeps getting worse and i feel that my life is passing so fast i fear that im wasting my life but at the same time i fear the outside world i would be more happy staying at home forever living from home eating drinking working shopping and sleeping at home never having to face the outside world again.