Upset...Over Nothing!

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Ralderable, Jan 3, 2013.

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  1. Ralderable

    Ralderable Active Member

    I am about to show a part of me, I would rather keep hidden. I am at times so very lacking of self confidence. The thing thats troubling me now is mostlikely not worth troubling over at all, and yet... here I am with a sense of self-hatred

    So a friend of mine who moved to switzerland was coming to visit belgium during New Years, she mentioned this to me and told me we should get together. She was staying with another friend of mine for a few days

    *We should totally meet up for a NewYears drink! I will ask -Someone's name- first thing when I get there*

    Now, a few days have passed and I had not received any messages. Now that she's back in switzerland she texts me

    *Happy new year Ramo!!! Hope this one will be much much better that the last one, a year of goodness and freedom only! It's such a pitty we didn't get to meet up..but hey! We're not dead ,right?*

    The first thing that bothers me here, is that she acts as if she was wanting to meet me, while obviously they did not care at all. She tells me that....

    *Ramo, one thing, please do not take the whole thing personally because it was not. it just happened the way it did. out meeting was quite overwhelming itself and i guess that it took over.*

    *Ramo. the fact that we finally didn't make it to meet up wasn't about you or anything else. i did want that and i strongly believe -Someone's name- as well. things just went the way they did and it had absolutely had nothing to do with you personally, please believe me. we just followed the flow and suddenly time dissapeared...*

    Of course I am not upset with them for not taking a bit of time to invite me over for a drink, its not like they are supposed to, even though she mentioned she would. But these things just make me so negative about myself, I doubt myself and blame myself and eventually once again end up disliking myself, because it would appear that those others also dislike me.

    I know that it is mostlikely a very silly situation to worry about... but it hurts, rather deeply... Wish it did not. How can I learn to accept these things and react to them in a mature and less self-hating manner?

    Thanks for Listening.
  2. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I am a rather old fashioned bloke, in that I always open doors for ladies, stand up (if I am sitting down first) to let the girl sit down before I re-take my seat, car doors et cetera and believe that promises should be kept, so I think that since your friend said that you both should meet up while she is there, she should have had the courtesy to visit you, even for a few hours of one day, even if it is just for a few drinks, but I do feel you have a right to be annoyed that she did not keep her promise. However, I still feel that you have a right to be annoyed that your friend did not even have the time of day to at least phone you while she was there, if she could not meet up or at the least send you a quick text.
    Still, you do have a right to to be upset (and certainly it is something you should be entitled to be) you should not try not to read too much into it without at least calling them/e-mailing them or texting them and find out why they did not go and see you.
    But you have to remember that while it is Winter over there ad the ground caked with snow, there could have been some unforeseen circumstances that prevented her from being able to visit you. But before getting strung up about things, you should find out from your friend directly about why they did not visit you; it could very well be that they had so much things going on to do while they were in your home country that it could have slipped their mind or the did not have the time to visit you.
  3. Finance

    Finance Well-Known Member

    I'd be bothered, too. My expectation of others has become so low that it's difficult to surprise me.
  4. paulhewson

    paulhewson Well-Known Member

    I think she should have found a way to meet up with you, at least for an afternoon for a few drinks. On the plus side, she did apologize in a half-assed way. Stay in touch with her, though. Make some plans for the next time she visits Belgium.
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