URGENT Advice needed please..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 04jwilliams, Mar 24, 2013.

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  1. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    I have been in a really bad way recently over the last few weeks. Everyday things are getting worse. In the last 2 weeks ive overdosed twice but unfortunately am still here. I'm now thinking of other ways to do it, the thoughts are there all the time no matter what i do they wont go and i'm pretty sure i'm gonna reach that limit soon enough sitting here now im dam close to doing something. The additional problem is i have very little support but have confided in a friend. She suffers from bipolar and severe depression herself. Since telling her the way things are for me she came round to mine earlier and gave me an ultimatum. I have made her seriously ill again and aparently i 'owe' her partner because hes got her to the person she is today and ive knocked her back months as everything i said to her about my problems brought all hers back up and she says im bringing her down with me. The ultimatum is i carry on like i am and she walks away (has already done but i can change it one last time) this means she would not be there for me anymore at all and if i do something to myself and succeed she will not come to my funeral. Or the other side is i put a tiny bit of effort in to it and work on getting better and she will be there for me as long and as intense as it may be. I also have to go to her house every other day to make some 'memories' and this will happen for 3 months. if i don't go she walks away.

    So my question is what do i do? Cos of course i don't want to be like this and ive tried and tried to get better and recieve help but it literally is not working i just want to end everything and go, but i have such an enormous amount of guilt on my plate that ive made my friend become ill. If i had known this was to be the case i would never have told her anything but its too late and this is the situation but PLEASE someone help me and tell me what to do..
     
  2. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry you feel this way right now it must tough i truely empathise with you a this sad time.

    My advice would be to speak to your GP or crisis and tell them what you going through right now, explain to them about the ODs and how you are feeling and then get assistance, if you are in danger then ring your psych team/crisis team as soon you can or go straight to hospital and speak to the on-call pysch team who will help you.
    do you have someone with you at the moment, can you explain to them what your going through
    Are social services aware of your situation, then please get in touch with them.
    Never been scared about going in hospital it's for your own good.
    If they suggest time on a psychatric ward,acute admissions unit/secure unit then please take their offer urgently as possible it will be for own good. always take meds
     
  3. hoophula

    hoophula Active Member

    Another thing. Your friend's issues are NOT YOUR FAULT. You are not the blame as all you did was confide in a friend, and now have feelings of guilt. please don't and I do know 1st hand what you are going through. i myself want to go too but I have kids and they are the reason I am still alive. I am going to go into my local hospital soon if things get worse. I am here if you need to talk. hugs
     
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    So sorry that you feel so guilty about your friend. It doesn't see reasonable to me to blame you for her setbacks. I think other things, unrelated to you, effected that. Those of us who have depression also have the problem that our judgement is impaired and the times when we most need help are the times when we are absolutely sure that nothing works for us. Hang on, keep on trying. Hugs.
     
  5. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    You have to remember that nothing is your fault, its not your fault your friends depressed.
    i would suggest he/she joins this site or various sites.
     
  6. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    thankyou. Well i'm still here. I decided that i would try for my friend and i have really been trying so hard but its not enough i just want this pain to end. I have no meds the crisis team wouldn't let me have any as the half life of my medication is high so i have had nothing since when i overdosed on fri and its starting to affect me. They did say they would bring a prescription for me tomorrow though which i suppose is one thing. They would not let me go into hospital as theres no beds. I truely thing hospital is the only place where im gonna be safe right now. I just don't know what to do..
     
  7. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    oh i and too have a child, hes not staying with me atm though im having restpite although hes due back on thurs. And even he isnt enough to keep my going... :(
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Go back to emergency in hosptial and tell them hun you need hospital stay now so you can get strong for you and your son hun take a pt advocate withyou get your doctor to cal but get the support you need and deserve ok Keep going there until you get the help you need
     
  9. 04jwilliams

    04jwilliams Active Member

    Whats a pt advocate? I will try and thats all I can do
     
  10. hoophula

    hoophula Active Member

    trying is the first step, my friend hugs
     
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