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urgent please.

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lost_child

Well-Known Member
#1
I'm due to see my p/doctor in less then an hour, I have to leave in 20 minutes to see him. Do I tell him how I've been feeling or pretend that everything is ok, I know he will be expecting me to feel better, that the suicide thoughts have stopped, that I don't self induce vomiting. I've not been able to tell anyone how I've been feeling in fear they will section me or laugh at me, I've only seen him once before i don't know what I should say. I want to kill myself today I'm not coping and I don't know if I should try and tell him or not.
 

Puddytat

Well-Known Member
#2
hun, you got to tell him. i know nothing about going to a doc but i know they cant help you and treat properly unless you are completely honest with him. yes they hope that you are getting better but you cant pretend that you are for his sake, if whatever hes doing is not helping then he needs to know so he can change it. its for your benefit not his remember! if youre not coping then you need to explain that to him.
please stay safe tonight, you need to give life a chance, there are so many great things to look forward to.
:hug:
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#3
Hun you must tell him the truth, he can't help if he doesn't know the facts.
Take a deep breath and just tell him :hug:
 

lost_child

Well-Known Member
#4
its official I'm as mad as they come. I told him I was struggling and he said I didn't need to tell him he could tell by looking at me that I was no better...so the mask has officially slipped. He asked if I had taken or been tempted to take an overdose I told him the truth, and said I didn't see myself seeing Monday..he then started playing the guilt fu*king card, won't those who love you hurt, how will they feel, won't they be sad, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO how can those who love u hurt when u have no1 that does love you, they can't. He said they would blame themselves, they won't cause I've wrote a letter its me, no1 else its me. He's referred me for urgent physiology, oh flipping great at least 3 months I don't have 3 months I don't have 3 days. wot is the point...oh and then to top it off as he gave my prescription on citropram he asked me to promise I won't overdose on them...I never planned on using them to end it so it was an easy promise to make.

sorry I'm losing the will to leave, it seems to be brick wall after brick wall that I run into. maybe this brick wall will break and I will die.
 

lost_child

Well-Known Member
#6
death is cripping up on me
tonight, tomorrow I will be free
I can't cope, a friend I need
but no friend can i see.
a hug I need
but there is no1 around me
so alone I will be
as tonight, tomorrow I become free
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#7
Know it's cold comfort but try the pills hun. :hug: If they at least stop you hitting the pit of despair it would help no? :hug:
 

lost_child

Well-Known Member
#8
I've tken some tablets i'm home alone, I feel lonely, depressed, keep gettin tears in my eyes but I won't cry on my last day i don't do crying no no no no no no i've messed up my whole life i visted the place where my life waas lost I never had a chance from teh day i was born. so it don't matter now aged 28. :cry:
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#9
Get to the A&E department hun, you need to make sure the pills you've taken don't cause liver damage:sad: :hug:
 

lost_child

Well-Known Member
#10
I want to be in pain I have to suffer. without love their is no life, without human contact their is no life, without a friendly voice to hear their is no life. I was born into this world alone, I've never felt love, I will die alone never having felt love. I'm tired :cry:
 
#11
i know that we come across those people who seem to say all the wrong things. but maybe they just do not know what to say that is appropriate, so they use the guilt card. they mean well just do not have the right words. i hope you made it through another day. this was my first time on here last night. because i read some of these people's posts and felt as if there was someone out there who knew what i was feeling i made it through until this morning. i am not saying i feel less suicidal i just feel like i am not standing at the edge this morning. take care and know that there are people out there who do care about you it is just hard to see them right now through the haze of pain you are in.
 
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