urgh. me.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by meagainstme, Apr 26, 2007.

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  1. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    i just feel so...low.
    all the bloody time.

    i just want to be alone all the time, but at the same time i feel so lonely. i have no one and i have nothing. i just wish it would all end. i dont want to be a quitter but i cant see anything getting easier. i just have lows, with no highs anymore. i feel so weighed down that i cant see any good anymore. i just wish i could stay away from everyone. and i would if it wasnt for college. arghhh. sorry. im sorry for sounding sorry for myself. i know you all have your own problems. ive just lost everything. ive lost myself. :(
     
  2. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    no one in my life wants to know
    and now no one on sf wants to know


    i dont know what i do wrong. but i must be fuckingn awful. i hate myself. everyone hates me. why am i even here? its hard to find reasons....
     
  3. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Hunny :hug: I didn't want to push you in my PM (the last time I did that turned out pretty bad), but you know I will listen if you want me to :hug:
     
  4. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    im just so alone now.
    im fed up of no one understanding me. i dont even understand my own mind. this damn voice in my head. i wish it wud FUCK OFF. i hate hearing how useless i am. i want to be happy.


    :'(


    i hate these tears

    i hate how i feel so anxious inside.

    i cant feel myself anymore. i can just feel this overwhelming darkness pushing me away from everything i know.
     
  5. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I can relate to that a lot, don't have anything to make it all better, unfortunately. I know what you mean though, wanting to be alone, then feeling so damn alone and lonely. I'm not saying you do this too, but I tend to isolate myself a lot and push everyone away when actually I don't want to be alone. So maybe it's not that everyone doesn't care, more they don't want to intrude or don't know what to say. People do care. I care. If you want to pm, or msn, whatever, anytime, feel free. :hug:

    x
     
  6. Cestmoi

    Cestmoi Well-Known Member

    I have given loneliness a lot of thought, having been a loner myself throughout my life. And I came to the conclusion that the result speaks for itself.

    It occurred to me very young that I preferred to be on my own and that people screamed about the need to be social because they needed to feel the void in their lives. I have questioned it numerous time; each time to confirm my original assumption.

    Yes there is depression, and bitterness and lots of associated feelings when lonely and they all stem from the image society impresses on us. You have to have friends, you have to be with someone. Who are your friends and who you are with doesn't matter all that much.

    Eh well, now more than ever, after recent social experiences I have to say.. yea, yea... whatever. When with people, sooner or later, I just wish they could leave me alone.

    Perhaps there are persons out there with who this wouldn't happen. And it's true that staying at home decreases the chances of ever meeting them. But you know what? I 'm tired of this. Fate better make them stumble upon me, cause looking for them doesn't seem worth it anymore.
     
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